To infinity and beyond...

Spent today plotting my escape...

Heidi asked me what I wanted to do. "Something in the Jewish world" came falling out of my mouth like baby spit-up. "Hmmm" I thought, "that's the first time I think I've said that out loud". I went back to my desk and googled the National Center for Jewish Healing, then e-mailed a lady at Jewish Family Services here in LA. We'll see what happens.

I'm just feeling like I am at a cross-roads at work. The things that make me feel uneasy there are continuing to do so, despite my attempts at either ignoring or confronting them (both tactics only seem to work with annoying little siblings, and even then only to a limited extent, in my experience).

My real escape takes place tomorrow morning - Vermont! Woo Hoo! A month is a bloody long time, and I am fed up with being separated from my honey. So I'll schlep to the wooded forests and emerald glades of rural Vermont. What fun!

Now if I can just remember all the "Oh, and can you bring me..." Items...

Happy Birthday America, I do hope you have a good year and that this year brings you all that you desire (tho perhaps that may not be a good thing). Heidi's boy Gabe told her that he liked one friend in particular because he "has good toys". Cute!

Sometimes I think America is kind of like a kid with the good toys. A little over-indulged, a little spoilt, a little much. I just hope that America remembers that the best part of having so many good toys is sharing them with everyone else - so there you go US of A, my birthday wish to you!

Ad me'ah v'esrim! (may you live) to 120! (the age we are told Moshe was when he died)

Pets

Not the cute cuddly kind that we put human traits on and faun over, no, pet peeves is the blog of choice today...

1. Smokers who seem to think that the street is their ashtray - you disgust me, it isn't enough that you choose to live in a perpetual state of hypoxia and chemical addiction, but you have to flip your ash and butts into the thoroughfare for the rest of us to enjoy. Grow up - stop it.

2. The electronic mind/thought/action control society we are so thrilled to be in the process of becoming. I like paying bills online - it rocks. But enough is just that - slow down. When I choose to cut ties with your web based service (yes, Paypal - this means you), I should not have to cut out my left kidney with a butterknife to be able to do so, let alone to prove that I am who I say I am.

3. Rude people - and you know who you are - you suck. I stood on the escalator that slowly carries folk from the rooftop parking at the Ralphs on La Brea (needed Woolite) and watched a very rude lady taking on some youthful manager behind the customer service desk. Such a scowl she had, such entitlement came thru the window to me via her body language. Obviously she had never been told the "you'll catch more flies with honey" adage). I felt so embarrassed for her behavior.

4. People incapable of listening (and - I venture - you also know who you are...). Try closing your mouth long enough to actually hear what is being said to you, the person speaking might have some valid points - by speaking over them, or by making some silly "mia culpa" statement (JF!) you only succeed in pissing me off, and making me feel even less valued than I already do.

Some days I just want to go work in some great kids bookstore like Storyopolis on Robertson. Escape the adult grown-up world of self-absorption, and just be a kid again.

Sunday I escaped to "my secret place". It's high in the barren hills behind LA. A creek trickles thru a shaded canyon. Dragonflies of azure and coral swoop with their wings a blur of activity. Hummingbirds gorge themselves of sweet nectars from the wildflowers that line the waters edge. A trout lazily wobbles along in the shadows, lurking for an unsuspecting fly or waterwalker. It was blissful. I saw tadpoles, lizards, and listened to a myriad of birdsong. The sun was hot and I still feel it's gentle kiss on my back and the place on my neck where my necklace sits when I am driving.

Los Angeles takes a heavy toll on a boy like me. A boy who feels the land calling to him in his sleep during twilight. A boy who revels in the grass beneath his bare feet, a boy who knows the joy to be had from the eye-to-eye watching of an insect or a tiny reptilian. A boy who longs for the rain on his face, longs for the winds sweet caress in the late evening, who longs for the silence of solitudes and isolation from the city and all that she is.

Getting the hang of this...

Spending money is so damned easy. Not that this should be news, but it all adds up, particularly when one is in the throws of planning nuptials.

Cake, caterers, ketubah, invites, envelopes, talitot, I shudder to think of what is yet to come...Rings, suits, shoes, shirts, ties...Pass the Advil...Pass the martinis...and a cool towel for my eyes.

A lovely e-mail from my dear sister Lee. What a gem she is. She damned near made me cry with her sweet words. I miss her (and all the whanau, yes, even Jon) and all that I am missing out on by not being physically closer to home - particularly as we all move from childhood into adulthood. Finally we are coming into ourselves, and are actually worth knowing in our own right.

Shooting the shit, spinning a yarn, blowing smoke and wind up each other's arses...All that stuff.

Keegan turns 1 this weekend. The first mokopuna. He looks like such a cheeky little monkey - really starting to look like Mike (his Dad, my youngest brother). Lee is going home for the celebrations - lucky buggers.

Today I dropped another suitcase full of cash on my car. Nothing that could wait really, and it took me so long to get my shit together and get the car in, I figured to just let them do their darndest. So $950 later...oh my...

Where is that waiter with my drink?

A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum...

Okay, so I must live in one of the strangest places on the planet...

On my way home from a rather frustrating day at work (it's "a whole other Oprah", trust me), as I sat in the blistering heat of the LA commute, Sunset Blvd. It's usual slow crawl from the 101 west to La Brea, the potholes reminding me that I need to get air in the tires, and the general smells of the city - cigarettes, exhaust, and all varieties of nastiness. As I sat awaiting my turn to turn, I spied a man standing on the south-west corner of Sunset with a sign, printed on what looked to be heavy plastic (of the consistency of canvas).

"Ask jesus to forgive your sins now"

The "ask jesus" and "now" in red - the other words in black.

He stood holding the two corners of his plea, which I would say the banner was maybe 1m x 1m, showing it to the east-bound traffic, as it made it's way thru what has to be one of the worst intersections in the city.

No one seemed to be paying him attention. Just another pathetic plea for attention in a banner and billboard saturated metropolitan area - like any other in the United States.

No one perhaps, except me. I don't know why I cared - it's not like jesus has any relevance or place in my solidly Jewish life, except perhaps as sociological and societal contrast.

Then someone else caught my eye.

He stood waiting patiently for the light to change so he could continue along Sunset. Also east-bound. He was perhaps 2m from the man with the sign. He carried a black plastic bag - the kind that the video store puts porn in - the kind that the sex stores put lube and other goods of an "adult nature" in. The flimsy, and decidedly obviously-discrete kind of bag.

He was dressed in a white jumpsuit, open at the neck, sleeves pointed and studded, as were the legs and trunk of the outfit. His hair combed back, tho somewhat mussed after a day hard at work. The silver medallions around his neck caught the glint of the sun high overhead. Elvis, in all his glory.

I laughed out loud. Something I don't do terribly often - well, not when I am alone anyway. It had to be the strangest scene I had seen in a long time.

The light changed, the car behind me honked within an nano-second, and I made the turn, speeding away from the savior and the saved, homeward bound. Shaking my head, and wondering "whatever will I see next?"

Let the games begin...

So it is all go now...

The save the date e-mail went out last night, and the addresses are starting their trickle back from the invitees. How exciting.

Well, maybe not so much "exciting" as "absolutely fucken daunting"

That's what you get for saying yes in a fit of blinding Love, I guess...

I went down to the venue and gave them a cheque for $500 as a deposit...Let go and let G-d - isn't that whet the AA'ers out there say. I just hope my good faith in these people isn't ill-founded. I don't think so, but I may be just acting from a place of desire to have what I want, vs. a realistic place of the way things really are.

Trying to get back into a decent yoga regime. I was doing great there for about three weeks - 2-3 times a week, and feeling mighty good about it. Then I just seemed to crash and burn in a ball of fire. The class schedule is highlighted and stuck to the fridge door (I know that at least I am a regular at the fridge door). The instructors are fantastic, and I really get into the way they teach - very holistic.

We shall see...

Listening to a Hassidic Reggae singer - a guy called Matisyahu. Great sound - strange tho, to listen to pretty heavy-core Reggae, and know it is being sung by a guy in tzit-tzit. Aint nah'tin wrong in dat, now, don'cha know? (pathetic Haim - just pathetic).

Davened Saturday. I like the morning service - much better than Friday nights, which are such a production. More polish that prayer - for me anyway. The end of the week just has me aching for kavanah - not k'vetching and k'velling. Need to build regular davening into my schedule too - I like me better after I've davened. Funny how powerful prayer can be - the act of it, the intention of it. Judaism is all about the intention linked to it's action. For me anyway...

Time to downward-facing-dog...

Hump day?

Why they call it "hump day" I'll never quite understand. Okay, so it is the middle of the work week and all that - but I just don't get it.

I'm kinda annoyed with him today. He sent the caterer a shitty sounding e-mail. Maybe I am an ostrich, and prefer the head in the sand technique, but I'll be mighty pissed if we loose the venue. (sighs heavily)

Oh what the fuck - who cares?

New pics of the eldest nephew today - dang he is a cute little bugger! Blonde and a bit of a handful from what Steph says. Tee hee hee. Can't wait to see him (and the others) in December and be an uncle - Yay! I'll probably cry like a huge freaking gurl - but what the hell...

Annoyed with work today, too. Stupid shit getting to me...blah blah blah...

'nuf said.