Joyous, joyous, joyous.

We have been enjoying very much occasional visits to one of the newer, progressive Jewish communities, as supplement for what I, in particular find missing from our experience at our home community. Too often I feel locked within a personal straight jacket. My limbs struggle with their desire to be fully utilized in the expression of spiritual joy. Simply put: I just don't know what to do with my hands.

This place allows me to move freely. To bow deeply, to shuckle intensely, and to bury my face in the sweet scent of the corner of my talit as I pour the Sh'ma from my soul. I can lain along with the davening, and can do so loudly, as is what seems to please my nefesh most.

It is quite a spiritual treasure to have found it. At a time where I have the greatest need to pray with intensity and purpose most, I have located a place where that's what everyone else is there for, too. I am not the most traditional pray-er in the room, either.

So, Saturday night was the official beginning of the Torah reading cycle that is observed by every other Jew on the planet. We finish with the death of our teacher Moshe, and get to begin again, with the creation story in all it's mystic beauty. Simhat Torah - Celebrate the Torah.

The Rabbi lead us in the evening service which felt "briskly skipped" through, vs. "laboriously dragged". The kahal was a-buzz with anticipation; kids with stuffed soft-toy Torahs of the brightest primary colors possible ran around the room without a care (Actually Dean was hit on by the most adorable little blonde three year old who could sing all kinds of Torah-themed songs!).

Then the introduction of the evening began with a powerful kavanah/pep-talk from the Rabbi - followed by a fantastic d'var from a young man whose Bar Mitzvah I happened to attend in the last year. Then with drums and tambourine and the voice of the hazzan, off we went!

Initially, as is my custom, I wanted to get the lay of the land, to check out the scene. The first hakafah really set the pace, as we were led by the giggles and pervasive excitement of the children. I cannot get over the joy of being present to such happiness. Kids and their parents and their community. I think this is where you see the true intention of a community - in how it relates with it's children.

The second hakafah was introduced by a woman who gave testimony to her being a shabbat nerd; to the delight of the kahal. One after the other, members of the community got up and gave us a couple of pearls, and then we lead off with the appropriate verses from the siddur - responding one-to-the-other; the People, to the Holiness.

We had pulled a little group together, close friends, and took the plunge together. Dancing, singing, praying, talking, laughing, watching, thinking. I think we enjoyed it on varying levels.

One friend, a greatly spiritual and devout woman, who I admire very much, leaned over to me at one point, and shouted to me above the singing and drumming. "It's good to be a Jew!" she said. Yes, very much, very good indeed.

I loved it so much I refused to leave until the night was done and we had read from the Torah, and finished the service with kaddish. I heard this week that my first cousin had died from her disease. She'd been dealing with bowel cancer this past year. I only knew because she had found me on a site that tracks people by what schools they went to, what jobs they held, what towns they were from. I hadn't seen her in well over 25 years, but we had started to correspond via e-mail, and she had shared some of her story with me. It was strangely unreal, and now it is finished. I am not sure what to do, aside from say kaddish for her.

I found the hakafah responses particularly moving, and my voice loudly chanted with the group - my soul pouring forth in utter joy. Lubricated as I was by a shot of tequila, and a slowly sipped on vodka, or two, the words all came freely, and the voice was true and real.

Anei'nu, v'yom korei'nu - Answer us when we call

Powerful redeemer;

Faithful and Devout One;

Good and Beneficent One;

Garbed in Righteousness;

Supporter of the Fallen;

Eternal Rock;

Keeper of the Covenant;

Perfect in all deeds;

Hoshi'ah Na - Save Us, Please

Ha'tz'li'khah Na - Success, Please

Adonai, answer us, when we call.