Wow...Eleven Months...

The kid turned eleven months old this evening. I'd actually forgotten until about 10 minutes ago and thought that I'd probably best make up for my omission by writing a little something about the past almost-year.

Amazing to think that we have been a family of more than two for this long. Amazing too, to think that we have made it in one piece, with few major blunders. No hospitalisations (b'ruch ha'Shem). We have survived our first (seven) encounters with teething and our first ear infection, our first round of vaccinations and our first course of antibiotics. We have also checked off rolling over, crawling, and "sitting up unaided". This past week - or so - we also added "pulling up to standing" and eating peas to our Roll of Accomplishment.

Little things, I guess, but also amazing triumphs in development. What clever people we are! Okay, what a clever person he is. We're just there to cheer him on, and marvel, just a little bit.

We have changed and grown tho. Grown up a lot, changed for the better.

He's a sweet, happy, outgoing, bright, interactive, joyous child. A "dear wee soul" we were told recently. He loves people, and delights in their interest in him. He charms any and everyone (if given the chance), and seems to seek out people who need a smile or a chortle in their day and is only too happy to oblige them.

He is a magical worker of light, and I feel very blessed to be one of his Dads.

Long Over Due...

Way over due...actually.

I have been wanting to blog about my experience of parenting; Has it changed me? Has it expanded me? Has it taught me new insights into life? Y'know, that kind of thing.

The trouble is that I hate the idea of sounding sappy. I am under no illusions that I somehow will come off suave and cool, hip and adjusted, because I know myself well enough to know that I tend to be more emotionally drawn and therefore am more likely to prattle on about the emotions of it all.

But indulge me, if you please...

It's the hardest thing I have ever done, and yet the easiest (meaning I generally feel at ease as I do it, not that it is easy-peasy). It is exhausting and yet exhilarating (I am continually amazed at what I am able to competently accomplish on such a small amount of contiguous sleep). I have settled into a nice little routine, without being dominated by it (okay, that one is a stretch, but I am working on being more flexible, particularly in relation to leaving the house with him).

I have never felt more religious, yet I feel completely unobservant (okay, that one makes no sense). I feel so completely the Jewish parent, yet we very rarely go to schule. I miss ritual observance, yet I also feel that I am working on implanting and instilling a very real Jewish identity.

I have managed to make the leap back to part-time work. It wasn't nearly as traumatic as I thought it might be, and I am very much enjoying being back in the workforce (that's another entry).

And I enjoy Jacob. He is a spectacular little boy, and is daily delighting me (us) with his bright and shining nature. He really is one of the brightest little boys I have ever met. Smiling and happy, inquisitive and - okay, bear with me - insightful. He has on the whole been pretty easy to care for, mostly because he is so sweet and funny. The one or two times he has been sick things are different, but we all get "off days" don't we?

He loves people, and so far hasn't been victim to any separation anxiety (which I am so thrilled about, I would hate him to be scared of people). Instead, he seems to delight in meeting new people, or seeing ones he knows. He is one of those children who takes everything in and really watches the world.

I enjoy being his Abba, and I enjoy being his co-parent. It is so fun to watch him with his daddy, and to see the developing relationship they will have together. It is going to be something quite amazing, I can tell, already.

So, I'll stop here at risk of dissolving into a blabbering idiot and raving about how smart he is and all that stuff that parents are prone to do (which I must say I am a little bit loathe of).

Stunning...

I have poached this from another blog I read, but thought that the painting was so beautiful I just had to bring your attention to it. Great article talks about the paintings history.

The GayClic Collab Against Homophobia (from France)

okay - this one has a language advisory...but I LOVE it!

Flyin' Solo - Well, Duo...

We are on our own for the next couple of days. The Boy is away in rural Victoria for a work conference. We would have gone, but the words rural and Victoria are never a pleasant reality when used in combination.

So far so good. Jacob slept thru until 05:00, which while not the ideal, is better that a disrupted night. Contiguous hours beat scattered ones.

It's been a rough last week or so. Jacob has been teething, and now has two razor sharp teeth to show for it on his lower gum line. But the process is quite an eye opener. Fussy, irritable, not wanting to eat, not wanting to drink, just "off" in general.

We have kept the Tylenol coming and he wears his amber necklace. We have also been giving his an homeopathic remedy and chilled chew toys (I know, that sounds so much like dog talk - but trust me, it works).

But on the up and up front; I have accepted a job! I interviewed at a number of places, and received two offers of part-time PACU work. I thought it all thru and have accepted the position at the National Childrens Hospital, Starship - which is here in Auckland. I plan on starting June 2nd, and am currently working thru the pre-employment health screening and the necessary paperwork. I'm looking at two days a week, and looking at it longingly. I've missed the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment that paid employment gives. I've missed adult company, too.

Jacob will spend one day at home with the Boy (Tuesday), and then two days at day care (Wednesday & Thursday). We called around, asked around, and ran around, and found a spot at one of the nationwide chain places which is close by the Boys work. It'll make drop-off and pick-up easier for all concerned. You may notice that we have an extra day in there; I decided that I wanted a complete day off, and the day care has a two-day minimum requirement. The plan is that I'll use the extra day to get back into potting or some other pursuit that has vanished since Jacob came along. It'll be good to see what is out there and do something creative again, and feel like I have a life of my own again.

Rolling in it...

Anyone would wonder what the hell happened to me. You wouldn't be alone, I've been thinking it myself. I can say is that I have been well and truly swallowed up in the day-to-day that goes along with a small child. They are pretty damned busy little creatures. More of a time trap than Facebook, I tell ya.

We have had a crazy last week or so. He turned 5 months old and of course had to have the appropriate vaccinations. He'd sailed thru his 8 week & 3 month set without batting an eye, so you can imagine our complete and total shock when we were confronted by the fussy, screaming, feverish, loose stooled, alien who we found in his cot that same night. Yikes! No wonder people live in terror of having their kids stuck.

We are a week out now, and he seems to be back to his usual pleasant little self. He is currently chilling in his cot, no doubt talking to the animals on his wall, as he chomps on his entire left hand. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, we are pretty sure he has started teething, too. Either that or his salivary glad "tap" got left on. We thought we saw a bud (of the teething variety) for a day or so there, but it seems to have gone. Never fear, the amber necklace arrived this morning and I have flown in the face of the Plunket Nurse and placed it about his neck. Everyone I have spoken to (even our landlord) swears by the things, so we'll see.

He has also taken a keen interest in television. In general we try to avoid exposure, but there are those moments when he does get to catch a glimpse. Last week in the midst of the hellion child's visit I relented and let him watch while we were waiting post-feed for a suitably impressive burp. We flipped thru the channels (which doesn't take long here as there are only something like 9 - and one of those is the horse racing channel) and landed on an episode of Zack & Cody. It's one of those shows that must be listed in Revelations as a sign of the impending arrival of the horsemen. I was all set to flip on when I noticed the wide eyes of the small boy on my lap. Jacob was gazing at the screen with the same look I give Hugh Jackman.

I then found myself hesitating, feeling bad that I was wanting to change channels. But I had to, Zack & Cody is crap. But how to exit gracefully? I came up with a plan; wait until the commercials to make my move. It took me a minute to realize that it would be just fine if I flipped on as Jacob has yet to put together the fact that there even are channels, let alone that we can change them.

I'll have years of fighting over control of the clicker, so I took this small victory, knowing full well that Zack &Cody are gonna win in the end.

Bounching Back

I'm feeling SO much better after almost a week of being under the oppressive hold of a cold. I'm still a little stuffy, but now actually feel human without having to rely of medications. Of course this is made all the sweeter in seeing that Jacob too has made a rebound over the last 24 hours. He still has a little bit of a couch, but is back to breathing pretty well and as a result taking his pre-cold amounts of milk.

I have to say, it really was a scary experience having a sick kid. Especially something respiratory. I got next to no sleep worrying that he was going asphyxiate on his secretions. All now seems well, and so we can get back into our happy little groove.

House guests are an interesting addition to the mix at any time, but I found it a totally different ball game when I was feeling like shit. Having to at least appear up-beat and interested was not so easy when it was taking all my energy to talk to other people at all. It can't have been easy for my Mother-in-Law dealing with me in a mono-syllablistic state. Lord knows that I didn't enjoy me, either.

Upward and onward, and let's put it all behind us...

This part is not so much fun...

This is the bit I have been dreading, this is the part that fills me with fear and anxiety. This is the bit when I tell myself that this was all a terrible idea, this is the bit when I want to run away.

I know I am over reacting and being a tad melodramatic (which is something I am very capable at, I know), but I don't like this bit. He is sick. We're all sick, actually. But him being sick is where I feel the most helpless. It's only a cold; it's only a bit of a dry cough, and a stuffy nose, and a little bit of crankiness. It's only saline drops and bulb suctioning, but I hate it. He gets so upset, and wails and wails. Poor wee man.

Of course, I have visions of being admitted with dehydration, pneumonia, or RSV (or both) running thru my head. That and being a helpless Nelly-girl parent freaking out and in need of hand-holding. But hey, there it is. Visions of respiratory isolation and oxygen requirements.

Of course none of his current symptoms indicate that any of these things are necessary or in play. In reality all he has is a stuffy nose which needs sucking out before he feeds so he can breathe clearly, and some additional time to feed. So far, it's really a cake walk. He isn't dehydrated, he isn't in respiratory distress, or showing any other negative findings (BBS = CTA, + Upper Respiratory congestion, RR 40 @ rest, HHR +/- 110 @ rest, CRT < / = 3 sec, Mucous membranes; moist/pink). Which does make me feel better, I guess.

I know that they get sick, I had just hoped it wouldn't be until he was 12 or so. I guess my feeling like crap just compounds things. Ugh.

We all have it. Daddy, Abba, Jacob & even Bo-Bo. He was supposed to have his 3 month vaccinations today, but we'll push that forward to Tuesday. Hopefully we'll all be feeling more up to it by then.