Just a Little off the Top, Thanks

Last night was the bris. I'm still trying to digest the whole thing. I am vacillating between horror and honour. It was much different than the other Brit Milah ceremonies I have attended before, even the two when I was Sandek. There was something much more gritty and real about it seeing my own child enter into the covenant in this manner. Don't get me wrong; it was truly an amazing and important experience, but I am a little shell-shocked, still.

The Mohel and the rabbi were fantastic, absolutely fantastic. The steps were all explained and thought out to enable us to have a more complete experience, but it was still heart breaking hearing him squeal the way he did. The lidocaine must have really stung because he made a huge fuss, and had a great difficulty becoming calm for the immediate time frame afterwards (when the actual Milah was taking place).

We tried to comfort him, giving him "sips" of sweet sacramental wine via a rolled gauze in his little mouth. The purple staining of the wine on his tongue was a very curious site during it all. I kept looking at his tongue thinking that I could happily have a glass or three of wine right around then, too.

The actual cutting was all done in the rabbi's office, away from the crowd. We then moved into the schule and the ceremonial portion of the evening began. Jacob was carried in by his grandmother, Lynne. Then she passed him to the Boy who passed him first to Stella (the mother of his aunt, and the last of his Grandparents generation) who sat in Miriam's Chair. Then to the Boy's dad, Bernard, who held him throughout the rest of the ceremony.

The rabbi spoke, the kahal responded, the rabbi spoke again, the kahal responded, again. It is all kind of a blur, I have to admit. Then it was time to explain Jacob's names. The Boy and I spoke; firstly me about his "secular" set of names Jacob Osher.

I started with a few words of greeting in Maori, which I didn't make too big a botch-up of, despite being incredibly nervous and quite overwhelmed with emotions.

I explained the choice of "Jacob" being in honour of both our biblical ancestor Jacob, and in memory of my paternal grandmother, Jacova. I loved my "Nana Covie" dearly, and realize that she continues to have a huge influence on me, even today. Being able to name Jacob - in some part - for her has a great deal of significance for me.

"Osher" is taken from a line in one of our favorite songs. In the Idan Reichel Project song "Bo'i" there is a line that says;

"Al tish'ali oti al osher, ulai gam hu ya'vo. K'sh'hu ya'vo, yered alienu k'mo geshem"

"Don't ask me about joy, maybe he (it) will also come, when he (it) comes, falling down on us like rain".

The words just really spoke to me, and "Osher" has a much deeper meaning than simple joy. Like most Hebrew words it is more a concept, and can be translated as "Abundant Joy", which is what we hope and pray for our Osher, our proof of abundant joy, our little son.

Then the Boy about his Hebrew names "Yisra'el Haim". Yisra'el - Israel - is the name that Jacob takes as an adult after he spends the night dreaming of a ladder to heaven. He wrestles with a stranger, an angel, perhaps with G-d. He awakes a changed man, and takes a new name in honour of the transformation that he went through.

"Haim" is not for me, but for Dean's paternal grandparents, "Haim Dovid" and "Haiya". They are still incredibly present for the Boy in his heart, and it is a wonderful way to honour them. The Boy's Dad was more than a little overcome and it was quite moving.

At the end of the ceremony the Rabbi and the Mohel called everyone up onto the bimah with us, had them surround us, everyone touching, linking to our hands which were on Jacob's tiny head to give the priestly benediction. The Rabbi had us close our eyes, and concentrate on the little life in our hands (literally) and send him our heart-felt wishes for his life. I found this the most moving piece, and tears were streaming down my cheeks as she sang the ancient words of blessing.

Then to the social hall to have a nosh and schmooze, receive good wishes, kisses and hugs from our circle of friends. What an incredible bunch of people. We are incredibly lucky to have the friends we do, they are amazing, and it felt so incredible to share this next step in our life cycle with them all. Some I hadn't seen an an age, and some I saw very recently, but all of them a blessing in our life.

So, all in all, I have to say that while it was a wrenching experience at times it was one that is incredibly worthwhile. I know there is controversy about circumcision, but I believe that it is an important part of who we are as a people, and will continue to be part of who we will be as a people.

Blessed are You, Ha'Shem our God, Ruler of the universe, who has sanctified us with Your commandments and commanded us concerning circumcision.