simple kiwi truths

Teach Them To Your Children

2011-08-19T18:46:00.004-07:00

Parenting is an amazing role.

I know, everyone says it, there are books stacked to the moon and back saying so, countless TV programmes, and endless movies. Normally the more something is professed the less likely I am to believe it. But at least as far as the species-wide conviction that there is "something sacred in raising a child" goes I have downed vast quantities of the Kool Aid.

The Small Boy daily amazes me, and I am delighted to be amazed again. For a while there I was having symptoms of overdose, but I seem to have modified my doses and found equilibrium in my blood levels (due in no small part to his being in preschool now).

Raising a child takes a village. I loved Hillary Rodham-Clinton's much-maligned book (1996 - Simon & Schuster) and the past two and a half years have only cemented the conviction that you can't go it alone. We loved our daycare in Auckland. It was secular, multi-cultural, mainstream New Zealand at it's best. They loved our kids and they fed and taught them well. The Small Boy grew like a weed with their nurturing. We were sad to say good-bye to them.

The small boy started Jewish preschool two weeks ago. The pre-school is affiliated with the synagogue where the Boy works, and is a wonderful place. Yep, I have that flavor of Kool Aid on my breath, too. But it seriously is fantastic. Warm, inviting, joyous, accepting, and Jewish. I know that "that" should make such a huge difference, but it does.

On the way home this afternoon the Small Boy sang away to himself as he usually does, only this time it was different, he was singing Shabbat songs. Songs that he had just sung with his classmates (and the rest of the preschool) at their weekly pre-Shabbat song and story session with the Rabbi (read "Daddy") and Cantorial Soloist. Tonight as we made Kiddush together marking the arrival of Shabbat the Small Boy piped up and sang - albeit a little muddled - the appropriate blessings for the candles, wine and bread.

Good stuff, stuff that makes me feel like we are doing all right by him, and raising a Mensch!

Shabbat Shalom, Small Boy. Your Abba loves you.

2011-08-11T15:50:00.001-07:00

So, the blog had slowed to a near halt while I was in New Zealand. Perhaps I didn’t have anything to say, perhaps I was busy doing vs. observing? I’m not quite sure. Perhaps I don’t see so well in my natural environment?
So now I am a foreigner again. I am – proverbially – a fish out of water (or – for those who speak te reo - is that a tuna out of wai?). We are now living in the greater Phoenix area and settling into a whole new world. Yes, you’re right, I have lived “here” before, but my previous “here” is quite different from my current one.
Phoenix is a sprawling metropolis in the middle of a wide valley. From the balcony of our furnished rental we can see distant mountain ranges. It’s hotter than Hades, but there is something cozy about it. The Boy has started a new gig and the kid has started a new preschool (as of this week). I’m in the middle of having my license endorsed which for anyone who has done it before makes you a victim of a bureaucratic snail’s pace.
I’ve started exploring on my own, finding my way around town, and seeing a few movies. Which is where I am going with this post…
Today I decided to see the new ”Planet of the Apes” movie. I’ve been a fan of POTA since seeing Charlton Heston collapsing in front of a shattered lady liberty, and being glued to the ‘70s TV series. The new film is an absolute CGI-fest of apes rising to take over Muir Woods. It’s pretty full-on, suspenseful and violent. A whole lot of big apes with big teeth. Throwing people off the Golden gate Bridge, that kinda stuff.
So I gotta ask. Is it really a good parenting choice to bring your preschoolers with you to see this one. Okay, it’s hot out, it’s eleven in the morning, and the kid gets in free. But seriously, this is smart? Seriously?
The kids (there were two sets of them with their parents) were well behaved, and there was no screaming. But it just doesn’t strike me as the kind of thing a smart parent exposes their kid to. I bit my tongue and merely scowled in the darkness. I know, I’m a pussy, but it didn’t seem like an appropriate - or particularly desirable - interaction to have.
I must admit I have been witness to a few questionable parenting choices when I’ve been out and about. Target has to be the best place to observe. Maybe it’s the wide aisles and big red shopping carts that bring out the worst (?) in people. I dunno. Perhaps it’s also a difference in how loud Americans talk to the people they are out with; I think there is a general sense that people talk as loud as they want and about whatever they like when they are out in public. People say some crazy shit to their kids.
So, there you have it for my first attempt at kick starting the blog.

Getting Into the Groove...

2010-12-02T16:04:00.002-07:00

We've been here in Silverlake for a week now, and have been settling in nicely. It's a great location, in a fun, relaxed area of the city. We have been exploring - mostly on foot - and have found some great little places to hang out.

We have found the Saturday Sunset Junction Farmers Market, and sipped coffee with the hipsters at Intelligentsia. We have found a few great looking second-hand kids clothing stores, and done a spot of shopping at the stunning kids shoe store, Wee Souls. The folks at Trader Joe's seem to be recognizing us now, and Jake now recognises the way to Shane's Inspirational Playground at Griffith Park. We have taken a ride on the train at Traveltown, and even connected with the LA Crunchy Parents group and hiked to the Griffith Park Observatory. Not too bad for a week, huh?

Today we took ourselves out to run errands and walked over to Vermont and the bustling shops of Los Feliz. We stopped in at the bank, took care of some business, and then had a browse at Starlight Books. It's a fantastic independent bookstore in the funky heart of Los Feliz. It has a great kids section and Jacob was soon pulling books down and asking to read them. We ended up buying a cute little book about African animals which came with it's very own menagerie; a lion, a giraffe, a mandrill, a zebra, an elephant, a rhino, a python, a chameleon (!), and a crocodile. We then retired to the Coffee Bean on Hillhurst and got to know our animals better over a shared bagel with cream cheese, a frothy milk for him, and an ice-blended mocha for me. Yummy!

We also found that there are "Mommy & Me" movies at the local theatre on Wednesdays!

The best thing was that when we got home Daddy was at the office in Auckland and signed in on Skype! SO nice to talk to him and see him. He's been in Australia for the last 10 or so days and so we have had to rely on e-mail and occasional Facebook chats. Jacob was delighted to see him and they had fun playing with each other via the cam.

While nothing ever makes up for being apart, Skype does help some...

Welcome Home - well, sort of...

2010-11-24T13:53:00.003-07:00

So, I figure that if I don't use the time I will have on my hands here in L.A. to do some kind of writing I will really be missing a huge opportunity, right?

So, to bring you all up to speed; I am in Los Angeles with Jacob for two months. Essentially to "log in" time on my green card. Rightly - or wrongly - the U.S. immigration service requires that those who hold permanent residence, such as myself, need to actually spend time here or they consider you to have abandoned your residency. So, after my two-year travel document (I-131) expires early next month I will need to be a little more present than absent. Fair enough, I get it, I just wish it were different.

We'll be on our own until Dec 30th when the Boy will join us. He has a conference in Palm Springs the first week of the New Year, and then (we hope) interviews will be able to be scheduled as well. Then, we'll all travel back to N.Z. together.

So, last Wednesday Jacob and I arrived in L.A. for an extended stay. It's a wonderful opportunity to catch up with family and friends, and the numerous things about life in the U.S. that I have missed this past two years in New Zealand. It is also good to come back for a while as in all likelihood we will all be moving back to the U.S. mid-2011 when the Boys current job is up.

He is in the midst of applications and interviews. We don't really have much of a choice, but there are some positions that would be very attractive to us both. we're keeping details under our hats (kippot?) for the time being as it is all very early in the process. No point getting excited before it is necessary, right?

We spent the first week with the mother of the Boy in Marina Del Rey, and have now moved into a cute little holiday rental in Silverlake, a part of the city I have always wanted to live in! The apartment is a funky, eclectic, cottage-like place in the lower level of a 1920s house, on a residential street, near most everything we'll need. The Zoo, the trains at Traveltown, and Griffith Park (one of my favorite places in the city). It is about a 45 minute drive to one grandparent, and about 30 minutes to the other. An easy walk to Trader Joes, a slightly longer one to Coffee Bean, and a decent schlep to Sunset Junction and all it's hipster hang outs.

We have a kitchen, laundry (with washer & drier), cable TV, DSL, a nice sized living room (with plenty of plays space), a small bathroom, and a comfortable cozy bedroom. The windows face out onto the street across a grassed lawn towards the south (so it is nice and sunny). It is perfectly adequate for the two of us.

Jacob seems to be adjusting well. He has adjusted is sleep patterns nicely, and aside from a bit of a runny nose and sometimes cough is well. I'm feeling pretty good now too after a few nights of messy sleep.

Last night (our first night here) we had dear friends come by to visit who bought dinner. It was lovely to see them, share a meal and a glass of wine, and catch up, knowing that we'll have lots of opportunities to see each other while we are in town.

This morning after breakfast we took a walk to the local Coffee Bean, shared a cranberry & orange muffin, and then strolled on to the Hospital where I worked up until Jacob was born. After convincing the security guy to let us in (it wasn't easy), we popped here and there seeing numerous well-loved friends and former colleagues. It felt so nice to see them and have them meet this funny little two year old boy. He did pretty good, but by the time we'd been there about an hour he was ready to head back for the morning nap.

So, I have laundry in the machines, a cup of tea steaming next to me, and my fingers tapping away as fast as they can...all in all a good morning. I think we are going to hit Traveltown this afternoon and see if a certain someone likes that. I think he might just explode with delight!

I never seem to find the time...

2010-09-04T16:31:00.003-07:00

I say to myself "I need to get back to the blog" and "put this parenthood thing out there and see how if looks" online.

So, what better day that Fathers Day (well, at least here in New Zealand it is)? I have a bit of time while morning nap goes down, to set up my iTunes, pour a cup of hot spicy tea, and breathe a bit. So, here goes...

Had no idea how hard it would be: Not consistently hard, just now and then - usually when I am not feeling 100%, of course. Oh, and just to round out the stereotype; the "hard" stuff is the "stupid" stuff, too, of course. The "stuff" I wanted to be able to sail thru, too.

Had no idea what fun I'd have: I have a blast with him. Every day he does something that either makes my heart sing, or come close to wetting myself. He's such a little ham. Example: when he is getting ready for bed, trying to chill things down, bath-time is finishing up, it's time to get dressed in jamies. Hes had some rough skin on his arms, and I think it's a good practice in general, so we use organic lavender lotion for soft skin and sweet night-time dreams. He thinks it is "such the funniest thing" to take 3-5 fingertip-fulls and eat it, while giggling "yummy". He'll do it 'til he gets a smile or a giggle back...Oy!

Had no idea how unimportant unimportant things would become: Can't be bothered giving a toss about the trivial in life. Not saying that the small details in life aren't just as vital to human survival as tall, lofty ideas. But I just wish there were more tall, lofty ideas coming my way. So - and I feel this is a direct result - I have a general disdain for conservative politics, their adherents, and supporters.

Had no idea how tired I'd be: 'nuf said.

Had no idea how much I'd enjoy walking on the beach with a small boy: it simply is the best thing in the world. I am trying to take him as often as I can so that when we are back in the U.S. the "ideal beach" that would be the one imprinted first, was a N.Z. one. Sorry CA, not a huge fan. I have to feel safe that my kid can put his hand in the water and then in his mouth and only get a little salt in his water. Plus there is nothing more magic than the beachscapes here - particularly on the west coast of the north island. The plants, the bird life, the glisten of iron sands.

Had no idea how delightful his laugh would be: He cracks me up. It is so hard not to want to continually giving chase to him, or pushing him on swings "higher...higher", or playing tigers/lions/whatever-that-noise-is-supposed-to-be, Just to hear that laugh. Makes everything better, if you let it.

Not only is it Fathers Day here, it was also our 5th Wedding Anniversary yesterday. Sadly we didn't get the night we had hoped for (unexpected baby sitter issues), but it was lovely to sit, eat Indian food, and read our wedding album together. It was an awesome night, and it has been a pretty amazing 5 years, as well. We have done a heck of a lot of things with those whispered blessings, those shouted "Mazal Tovs", and the joy that being with everyone gave us. Best Wedding, Ever!

I'm incredibly proud of my Man. He's a pretty amazing guy, I'm telling you. A phenomenal husband, a devoted father, a fantastic friend. He does such truth in the world, and I am so lucky to be there alongside him.

This one is for him...

Borrowed from a Friend...(Thanks, Gwen!)

2010-03-19T16:48:00.002-07:00

Thought Provoking Statements...

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the Person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

33. Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get off your ass and open the door.

How Time Flys

2010-03-06T19:01:00.005-07:00

I could theoretically try and bring you up to speed on the past four-or-so months, but that would actually be pretty boring, for me at least. Suffice it to say we have been having a lovely summer. We have traveled some, seen family, made new friends, been to new places, and generally done what one is supposed to do with a summer; enjoyed ourselves.

We feel generally more together and more cohesive as a family. Something which no one ever tells you takes so much effort when you have a kid. Talk about a minefield of potential - and real - face plants!

Jacob is fifteen-and-a-half months old, and is still the happiest kid on the block. Joy seems to be not only his disposition, but his mission. We are daily amazed at just how much fun this kid has. Sure, he has his moments, I won't deny it, but on the whole, he loves life. I think we're doing a pretty good job.

Jacob and I have been flying solo this past week. The Boy is away for business in the U.S. We could have gone with, but I opted to stay here and go it alone. It's not easy, but neither is it a trial by fire. I'm pretty darned tired, but have come to terms with being on-call 24/7. We "upped" Jacobs daycare days to 3 days a week (vs. 2), and it has worked pretty well. We have also been out and about; trying new cafes, making use of our annual pass at the aquarium ("Fissies" are incredibly popular here), and we went to our first Rainbow Families play group too.

The play group is a G-d send. I had been lamenting having other queer parents around, as breaking into the straight play group scene has so far evaded us. I stumbled upon them in the LGBT community listings online, and soon made contact. The group meets during the week at a local play center. Huge play spaces, sand-pit, dress-ups, role-play areas, the works. There were maybe 10 other kids (6 or so families), ranging from just a few weeks old to right up to pre-primary school age. Bright, happy, engaged kids, with bright, happy, engaged parents. I've missed lesbians!

I've also started potting again. I had loved taking pottery classes in LA, and am enjoying getting my hands muddy again. I've also met some new people, and even got a sitter last night and went out with a group of fun folks from work to celebrate a couple of birthdays. It feels like I am getting my own life back, again.

Another five sleeps until The Boy comes home, I think we'll be okay, but it can't come fast enough.

How To Tell People They Sound Racist

2010-02-10T19:31:00.001-07:00

Wow...Eleven Months...

2009-10-26T02:05:00.002-07:00

The kid turned eleven months old this evening. I'd actually forgotten until about 10 minutes ago and thought that I'd probably best make up for my omission by writing a little something about the past almost-year.

Amazing to think that we have been a family of more than two for this long. Amazing too, to think that we have made it in one piece, with few major blunders. No hospitalisations (b'ruch ha'Shem). We have survived our first (seven) encounters with teething and our first ear infection, our first round of vaccinations and our first course of antibiotics. We have also checked off rolling over, crawling, and "sitting up unaided". This past week - or so - we also added "pulling up to standing" and eating peas to our Roll of Accomplishment.

Little things, I guess, but also amazing triumphs in development. What clever people we are! Okay, what a clever person he is. We're just there to cheer him on, and marvel, just a little bit.

We have changed and grown tho. Grown up a lot, changed for the better.

He's a sweet, happy, outgoing, bright, interactive, joyous child. A "dear wee soul" we were told recently. He loves people, and delights in their interest in him. He charms any and everyone (if given the chance), and seems to seek out people who need a smile or a chortle in their day and is only too happy to oblige them.

He is a magical worker of light, and I feel very blessed to be one of his Dads.

Long Over Due...

2009-06-29T00:22:00.004-07:00

Way over due...actually.

I have been wanting to blog about my experience of parenting; Has it changed me? Has it expanded me? Has it taught me new insights into life? Y'know, that kind of thing.

The trouble is that I hate the idea of sounding sappy. I am under no illusions that I somehow will come off suave and cool, hip and adjusted, because I know myself well enough to know that I tend to be more emotionally drawn and therefore am more likely to prattle on about the emotions of it all.

But indulge me, if you please...

It's the hardest thing I have ever done, and yet the easiest (meaning I generally feel at ease as I do it, not that it is easy-peasy). It is exhausting and yet exhilarating (I am continually amazed at what I am able to competently accomplish on such a small amount of contiguous sleep). I have settled into a nice little routine, without being dominated by it (okay, that one is a stretch, but I am working on being more flexible, particularly in relation to leaving the house with him).

I have never felt more religious, yet I feel completely unobservant (okay, that one makes no sense). I feel so completely the Jewish parent, yet we very rarely go to schule. I miss ritual observance, yet I also feel that I am working on implanting and instilling a very real Jewish identity.

I have managed to make the leap back to part-time work. It wasn't nearly as traumatic as I thought it might be, and I am very much enjoying being back in the workforce (that's another entry).

And I enjoy Jacob. He is a spectacular little boy, and is daily delighting me (us) with his bright and shining nature. He really is one of the brightest little boys I have ever met. Smiling and happy, inquisitive and - okay, bear with me - insightful. He has on the whole been pretty easy to care for, mostly because he is so sweet and funny. The one or two times he has been sick things are different, but we all get "off days" don't we?

He loves people, and so far hasn't been victim to any separation anxiety (which I am so thrilled about, I would hate him to be scared of people). Instead, he seems to delight in meeting new people, or seeing ones he knows. He is one of those children who takes everything in and really watches the world.

I enjoy being his Abba, and I enjoy being his co-parent. It is so fun to watch him with his daddy, and to see the developing relationship they will have together. It is going to be something quite amazing, I can tell, already.

So, I'll stop here at risk of dissolving into a blabbering idiot and raving about how smart he is and all that stuff that parents are prone to do (which I must say I am a little bit loathe of).

Stunning...

2009-05-20T00:25:00.005-07:00

I have poached this from another blog I read, but thought that the painting was so beautiful I just had to bring your attention to it. Great article talks about the paintings history.

The GayClic Collab Against Homophobia (from France)

2009-05-19T13:11:00.001-07:00

okay - this one has a language advisory...but I LOVE it!

Flyin' Solo - Well, Duo...

2009-05-17T14:35:00.003-07:00

We are on our own for the next couple of days. The Boy is away in rural Victoria for a work conference. We would have gone, but the words rural and Victoria are never a pleasant reality when used in combination.

So far so good. Jacob slept thru until 05:00, which while not the ideal, is better that a disrupted night. Contiguous hours beat scattered ones.

It's been a rough last week or so. Jacob has been teething, and now has two razor sharp teeth to show for it on his lower gum line. But the process is quite an eye opener. Fussy, irritable, not wanting to eat, not wanting to drink, just "off" in general.

We have kept the Tylenol coming and he wears his amber necklace. We have also been giving his an homeopathic remedy and chilled chew toys (I know, that sounds so much like dog talk - but trust me, it works).

But on the up and up front; I have accepted a job! I interviewed at a number of places, and received two offers of part-time PACU work. I thought it all thru and have accepted the position at the National Childrens Hospital, Starship - which is here in Auckland. I plan on starting June 2nd, and am currently working thru the pre-employment health screening and the necessary paperwork. I'm looking at two days a week, and looking at it longingly. I've missed the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment that paid employment gives. I've missed adult company, too.

Jacob will spend one day at home with the Boy (Tuesday), and then two days at day care (Wednesday & Thursday). We called around, asked around, and ran around, and found a spot at one of the nationwide chain places which is close by the Boys work. It'll make drop-off and pick-up easier for all concerned. You may notice that we have an extra day in there; I decided that I wanted a complete day off, and the day care has a two-day minimum requirement. The plan is that I'll use the extra day to get back into potting or some other pursuit that has vanished since Jacob came along. It'll be good to see what is out there and do something creative again, and feel like I have a life of my own again.

Rolling in it...

2009-05-03T14:56:00.005-07:00

Anyone would wonder what the hell happened to me. You wouldn't be alone, I've been thinking it myself. I can say is that I have been well and truly swallowed up in the day-to-day that goes along with a small child. They are pretty damned busy little creatures. More of a time trap than Facebook, I tell ya.

We have had a crazy last week or so. He turned 5 months old and of course had to have the appropriate vaccinations. He'd sailed thru his 8 week & 3 month set without batting an eye, so you can imagine our complete and total shock when we were confronted by the fussy, screaming, feverish, loose stooled, alien who we found in his cot that same night. Yikes! No wonder people live in terror of having their kids stuck.

We are a week out now, and he seems to be back to his usual pleasant little self. He is currently chilling in his cot, no doubt talking to the animals on his wall, as he chomps on his entire left hand. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, we are pretty sure he has started teething, too. Either that or his salivary glad "tap" got left on. We thought we saw a bud (of the teething variety) for a day or so there, but it seems to have gone. Never fear, the amber necklace arrived this morning and I have flown in the face of the Plunket Nurse and placed it about his neck. Everyone I have spoken to (even our landlord) swears by the things, so we'll see.

He has also taken a keen interest in television. In general we try to avoid exposure, but there are those moments when he does get to catch a glimpse. Last week in the midst of the hellion child's visit I relented and let him watch while we were waiting post-feed for a suitably impressive burp. We flipped thru the channels (which doesn't take long here as there are only something like 9 - and one of those is the horse racing channel) and landed on an episode of Zack & Cody. It's one of those shows that must be listed in Revelations as a sign of the impending arrival of the horsemen. I was all set to flip on when I noticed the wide eyes of the small boy on my lap. Jacob was gazing at the screen with the same look I give Hugh Jackman.

I then found myself hesitating, feeling bad that I was wanting to change channels. But I had to, Zack & Cody is crap. But how to exit gracefully? I came up with a plan; wait until the commercials to make my move. It took me a minute to realize that it would be just fine if I flipped on as Jacob has yet to put together the fact that there even are channels, let alone that we can change them.

I'll have years of fighting over control of the clicker, so I took this small victory, knowing full well that Zack &Cody are gonna win in the end.

Bounching Back

2009-03-01T14:06:00.002-07:00

I'm feeling SO much better after almost a week of being under the oppressive hold of a cold. I'm still a little stuffy, but now actually feel human without having to rely of medications. Of course this is made all the sweeter in seeing that Jacob too has made a rebound over the last 24 hours. He still has a little bit of a couch, but is back to breathing pretty well and as a result taking his pre-cold amounts of milk.

I have to say, it really was a scary experience having a sick kid. Especially something respiratory. I got next to no sleep worrying that he was going asphyxiate on his secretions. All now seems well, and so we can get back into our happy little groove.

House guests are an interesting addition to the mix at any time, but I found it a totally different ball game when I was feeling like shit. Having to at least appear up-beat and interested was not so easy when it was taking all my energy to talk to other people at all. It can't have been easy for my Mother-in-Law dealing with me in a mono-syllablistic state. Lord knows that I didn't enjoy me, either.

Upward and onward, and let's put it all behind us...

This part is not so much fun...

2009-02-25T18:33:00.003-07:00

This is the bit I have been dreading, this is the part that fills me with fear and anxiety. This is the bit when I tell myself that this was all a terrible idea, this is the bit when I want to run away.

I know I am over reacting and being a tad melodramatic (which is something I am very capable at, I know), but I don't like this bit. He is sick. We're all sick, actually. But him being sick is where I feel the most helpless. It's only a cold; it's only a bit of a dry cough, and a stuffy nose, and a little bit of crankiness. It's only saline drops and bulb suctioning, but I hate it. He gets so upset, and wails and wails. Poor wee man.

Of course, I have visions of being admitted with dehydration, pneumonia, or RSV (or both) running thru my head. That and being a helpless Nelly-girl parent freaking out and in need of hand-holding. But hey, there it is. Visions of respiratory isolation and oxygen requirements.

Of course none of his current symptoms indicate that any of these things are necessary or in play. In reality all he has is a stuffy nose which needs sucking out before he feeds so he can breathe clearly, and some additional time to feed. So far, it's really a cake walk. He isn't dehydrated, he isn't in respiratory distress, or showing any other negative findings (BBS = CTA, + Upper Respiratory congestion, RR 40 @ rest, HHR +/- 110 @ rest, CRT < / = 3 sec, Mucous membranes; moist/pink). Which does make me feel better, I guess.

I know that they get sick, I had just hoped it wouldn't be until he was 12 or so. I guess my feeling like crap just compounds things. Ugh.

We all have it. Daddy, Abba, Jacob & even Bo-Bo. He was supposed to have his 3 month vaccinations today, but we'll push that forward to Tuesday. Hopefully we'll all be feeling more up to it by then.

No One Told Me This Part

2009-02-17T17:58:00.002-07:00

I've become a bit of a day-time television watcher over the past 6 weeks that we have been home in New Zealand, and that I have spent being home with Jacob. Usually there is very little that grabs my attention; "Dr. Phil", "Oprah", and the soaps get an instant channel change. But I have found myself drawn to those show that are either New Zealand or Australian made; possibly for the accent, or the socialization, I'm not quite sure.

Today I landed on "Backyard Blitz" an Australian made show that features backyard make-overs for deserving Aussies. Today, the recipient was a big bear of a bloke called Carlos who rescued a small boy from a burning building.

Carlos and his family were whisked off to the Uluru while the transformation took place. What had been a pretty ho-hum back yard became an escape with paving, grass, and a beautifully placed BBQ area.

The plant choices were explained, the building demonstrated, and the progress presented with lots of fun skit-like pieces. Then the family came home.

Carlos is a really big guy. He and his family were welcomed with applause from the neighbours, and then ushered into their new yard for the reveal.

"You've Got Love, Love, Love on Your Side"

2009-02-13T13:51:00.002-07:00

Life has its ups and downs and throwing (or perhaps "gently placing" is more correct) a small child in the mix does rather change things. I've never been one to celebrate Valentines Day; seeing it for what it is; the single biggest "Hallmark" holiday there is, cloaked – as it is - in Catholic Saints day clothing.

However, last night my husband brought home something I never thought I'd be more thrilled to see; those yummy crunchy little heart candies with the cutesy hard to read messages on them. I suddenly realized horror of horrors; I was missing the U.S., and even to a certain extent the hullabaloo that is V. Day.

So, to everyone home in the U.S. I say this...It's not about bunches of roses and bottles of wine. It’s not about your having a husband, a wife, a boy or girlfriend (or even a f**k buddy), to share the overpriced dinner and flowers with the inflated price tag with. It's about the small hard to read candies, and the yummy chocolate objects we stuff into our mouths that make us realize that even when it feels like life is really hard and things are difficult Love Conquers All. The Romans were right!

So, I urge you to follow my example. Even though you might be wondering if you may have put the baby in the microwave and the dinner in the crib, and you now find yourself relying on your sense of smell to tell if something is clean or not, get out there and eat something small, crunchy, ganache-filled and yummy! Do it for me, do it for love.

(extra credit will be applied for those who can name the source of the tag line)

Hard to Imagine

2009-02-10T13:18:00.002-07:00

The images and stories from the Australian fires are absolutely horrific. Three hundred people have died, including a number of children. There seems to be a huge amount of confusion as to the instructions given to people about evacuation, and this seems to have resulted in tragic results.

It's all beyond imagination; the bush is tinder dry and the dry winds are whipping across the mountains and catching people before they have time to get to safety. I heard a quote that the usual grass fire travels at about 40 km/hr, but that these fires are traveling in excess of 100 km/hr.

We had rain all day yesterday here in Auckland. It fell in a continual fine mist for most of the day, and this morning there is a moist humidity hanging over us. The trees are glossy and a rich deep clean green. The cicadas are singing at an almost deafening level, and the birds seem to be gorging on the many flying bugs that are on the wing today. It feels like a world away from the fires.

Last night the sky had a strange purple blush colour, possibly due to the high-atmosphere smoke that has crossed the Tasman from Australia, I guess. I can't imagine what it must be like for the fire victims, to have lost everything, to have lost even their lives. I used to live in Melbourne, and so can only feel a deeper connection to what is happening across Victoria. Let's pray for rain, and hope that the death toll is lower than feared.

My New Favorite Show

2009-02-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

We have forgone television for the last 3 or so years in L.A. It was nice not being in the constant grip of the T.V. and everything that goes with it in daily life. I'd become so sick of the morning after workplace conversations about Idol, Lost, Greys and the like that it was a wonderful relief to just respond "We don't have T.V."

We had kept the DVD and the television itself, just cut our cable subscription and never bothered to invest in an antenna. Netflix and having an phenomenal independent video store a short walk from the apartment in L.A. made it easy to be entertained and yet free of the constant commercialism and culturally-devoid mind-sapping dullness.

So now we are here in Aotearoa, living the good life, raising our kid, and watching T.V. There are far fewer channels here, and very little that is actually compelling or worth making a date with oneself to watch. Well, that is what I thought.

Maori Television is a relatively new venture (well, it is new to me, the twenty year absentee). It has been a great way to play Sociologist and have a look at how the minority communities are representing themselves on the tube. There are programs to help learn Te Reo - the language - and others to look at news and current events from the Maori perspective. And then there is Marae D.I.Y..

I have always been partial to home improvement shows, and this takes that concept and applies it to different Marae across Aotearoa. The crew are smart, funny, and really seem to love what they are doing. The recipients are small, rundown, and oft times dilapidated Marae that are given a makeover to make anything on the House and Garden channel take notice.

The crew arrive and whisk the Kuia away so that the marae whanau can work their magic. I love watching the little old ladies relaxing at the spa, having their hair done, and being treated like royalty. People come from far and wide to help with the projects which transform the forlorn looking little buildings into beautiful, proud, mana filled, places of community gathering. Walls are painted, fences are built, gardens planted.

I find myself welling up as the final reveal is made. The Kuia, dressed to the nines with quoffed hair and sparkling eyes are welcomed on to the Marae with all the ceremony and required ritual. They stand together with the presenters listening to the songs and orations of welcome with such obvious pride and emotion. It is something amazing to watch. The whanau are so proud of their accomplishment and filled with an obvious sense of having done something incredibly important and worthwhile. They know that they reach not only back to their ancestors but forward to their mokopuna.

So, Sunday afternoons are more often than not finding me making a date to be on the couch from 3 'til 4 tuned in to something that I think is really special. If you can, I really suggest you do, too.

Lost Generation

2009-02-02T15:31:00.001-07:00

amazing!

Because We Can, I think I Might

2009-01-21T15:34:00.000-07:00

I have resisted adjusting my status and applying for United States citizenship for a long time and for many different reasons. But yesterday, something finally happened that tipped the balance in favor of my doing just that and applying to become an United States citizen.

We got up at 05:30 AM here in Auckland, and shuffled down to the living room, brewed some tea, and sat on the sofa under a blanket and watched the beginning of something amazing. A new dawn? A new era? Whatever it ends up becoming, the events of yesterday in Washington, D.C., were historic and emotionally powerful.

Barack Obama has done something that we all thought was un-doable, I think. Whether we said it out loud or not, I think that most of us honestly never thought that there would ever be an African-American President take the oath of office in the freezing cold on the steps of the Capitol.

I have never felt engaged by American politics. I have felt confused and bewildered at what I saw as a sad lack of attention to the screaming problems that face the minority communities. The injustices and the apparent desire to just continue with the status quo and not address them made me feel that the American people were squandering their legacy. But, I think that has changed now. I hope it has changed now. I pray it has changed now.

I think I would like to part of that change. I believe that I have contributed in an unofficial capacity as a resident alien, almost like being a volunteer with Doctors Without Borders or something similar.

I don't think it will be an easy process, particularly with my now taking time outside the United States here in New Zealand. But from what I can see I meet the requirements. I also took the step of obtaining an I-131, which is an Immigration Department document which gives me official permission to be outside the United States for an extended period of time without abandoning my Permanent Residency.

So, I'll keep you up to date on developments as they come to hand. I think the first step is to contact a lawyer and see what they think...

Monday in the Park with Jacob!

2009-01-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

So here we are, the happy family, enjoying the best of a kiwi summer - a picnic lunch under a sprawling oak. I don't think it gets much better than this...

The move has gone well thus far. The long period of radio silence is because we have taken so long to get Internet at home. But that was remedied this morning, ya-hoo!

Jacob is 7 weeks old now, and has made heaps of progress. He saw his MD on Tuesday and started his vaccinations. Not too much crying, and he did just fine afterwards, thank goodness. He met his Plunket Nurse, too. He now weighs 5180gm, which is in the 11lb 4oz range. He has started sleeping longer at night, and now gives us 5-7 hours of extended sleep in the early part of the night, which I must say is bliss. He also likes longer naps in the day now too.

He is smiling, and is starting to coo at us. Sometimes he looks like he is on the verge of saying something profound, but then we get a very primeval sounding growl. He really is a lovely chap.

He met his Nanny and Koro last week, who are smitten. He has also met a few of the Temple people as well as family and friends. It's going great.

More, soon.

Am I Crazy, Or Does He Just Get Cuter?

2008-12-10T18:44:00.000-07:00

Call me crazy - I've been called worse - but he just gets cuter every day to me. His face, his hands, his tummy, he is just an incredible all-consuming beauty. He flashes these little smiles at me from time to time, and while I know they are only "milk burbs" those sweet little smiles make me coo like a dove.

he has the most delightful eyes, and while I know that he can't see much further than his just past his nose, he looks at me sometimes with such intensity that I think I am going to explode with joy.

We sit together in a sunny spot some days, quiet and alone, warm together, and I am overwhelmed with the sheer beauty of the experience. I like being an Abba - I like it a lot! It is awesome - the no'rah Jewish kind of awe, not the surfer kind, by the way. There is something truly awe inspiring, humbling, and incredibly hopeful about parenting, and in particular in fathering.

We sit and listen to music together (his Aunty Steph sent the sweetest compilation CD) and I cry like a professional mourner. I just can't help myself, it is too much to contemplate sometimes.

There will be any number of days ahead when he will try my last nerve, and I will, I am sure at some point have to yell at him. But, for right now, I am happier than a pig in shit (to coin a phrase much used rural New Zealand vernacular). I can't believe that life can be this good, sweet, and joy-filled.

Shabbat Shalom Little Squirrel

2008-12-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

Last night we celebrated Jacobs second Shabbat at Bobos house. His presence really has made Shabbatot all the sweeter. So, we lit candles, blessed wine and bread, sang zimrot, and shared a meal with The Boys Mom. It was really a taste of the world to come (which we are told the Shabbat is). The little Squirrel semi-slept through the activities in his car seat on the table. He fluttered his eyes during some of the singing, and then slipped into a deep and blissful looking snooze.

It was a lovely evening. We talked about family, and I showed Bobo some of the family pictures I had scanned when I was home last year. It was a lot of fun to introduce her to the whanau. I think she really enjoyed it. I did, though it made me somewhat homesick.

Laying On of Hands

2008-12-05T01:33:00.000-07:00

Just a Little off the Top, Thanks

2008-12-04T23:09:00.000-07:00

Last night was the bris. I'm still trying to digest the whole thing. I am vacillating between horror and honour. It was much different than the other Brit Milah ceremonies I have attended before, even the two when I was Sandek. There was something much more gritty and real about it seeing my own child enter into the covenant in this manner. Don't get me wrong; it was truly an amazing and important experience, but I am a little shell-shocked, still.

The Mohel and the rabbi were fantastic, absolutely fantastic. The steps were all explained and thought out to enable us to have a more complete experience, but it was still heart breaking hearing him squeal the way he did. The lidocaine must have really stung because he made a huge fuss, and had a great difficulty becoming calm for the immediate time frame afterwards (when the actual Milah was taking place).

We tried to comfort him, giving him "sips" of sweet sacramental wine via a rolled gauze in his little mouth. The purple staining of the wine on his tongue was a very curious site during it all. I kept looking at his tongue thinking that I could happily have a glass or three of wine right around then, too.

The actual cutting was all done in the rabbi's office, away from the crowd. We then moved into the schule and the ceremonial portion of the evening began. Jacob was carried in by his grandmother, Lynne. Then she passed him to the Boy who passed him first to Stella (the mother of his aunt, and the last of his Grandparents generation) who sat in Miriam's Chair. Then to the Boy's dad, Bernard, who held him throughout the rest of the ceremony.

The rabbi spoke, the kahal responded, the rabbi spoke again, the kahal responded, again. It is all kind of a blur, I have to admit. Then it was time to explain Jacob's names. The Boy and I spoke; firstly me about his "secular" set of names Jacob Osher.

I started with a few words of greeting in Maori, which I didn't make too big a botch-up of, despite being incredibly nervous and quite overwhelmed with emotions.

I explained the choice of "Jacob" being in honour of both our biblical ancestor Jacob, and in memory of my paternal grandmother, Jacova. I loved my "Nana Covie" dearly, and realize that she continues to have a huge influence on me, even today. Being able to name Jacob - in some part - for her has a great deal of significance for me.

"Osher" is taken from a line in one of our favorite songs. In the Idan Reichel Project song "Bo'i" there is a line that says;

"Al tish'ali oti al osher, ulai gam hu ya'vo. K'sh'hu ya'vo, yered alienu k'mo geshem"

"Don't ask me about joy, maybe he (it) will also come, when he (it) comes, falling down on us like rain".

The words just really spoke to me, and "Osher" has a much deeper meaning than simple joy. Like most Hebrew words it is more a concept, and can be translated as "Abundant Joy", which is what we hope and pray for our Osher, our proof of abundant joy, our little son.

Then the Boy about his Hebrew names "Yisra'el Haim". Yisra'el - Israel - is the name that Jacob takes as an adult after he spends the night dreaming of a ladder to heaven. He wrestles with a stranger, an angel, perhaps with G-d. He awakes a changed man, and takes a new name in honour of the transformation that he went through.

"Haim" is not for me, but for Dean's paternal grandparents, "Haim Dovid" and "Haiya". They are still incredibly present for the Boy in his heart, and it is a wonderful way to honour them. The Boy's Dad was more than a little overcome and it was quite moving.

At the end of the ceremony the Rabbi and the Mohel called everyone up onto the bimah with us, had them surround us, everyone touching, linking to our hands which were on Jacob's tiny head to give the priestly benediction. The Rabbi had us close our eyes, and concentrate on the little life in our hands (literally) and send him our heart-felt wishes for his life. I found this the most moving piece, and tears were streaming down my cheeks as she sang the ancient words of blessing.

Then to the social hall to have a nosh and schmooze, receive good wishes, kisses and hugs from our circle of friends. What an incredible bunch of people. We are incredibly lucky to have the friends we do, they are amazing, and it felt so incredible to share this next step in our life cycle with them all. Some I hadn't seen an an age, and some I saw very recently, but all of them a blessing in our life.

So, all in all, I have to say that while it was a wrenching experience at times it was one that is incredibly worthwhile. I know there is controversy about circumcision, but I believe that it is an important part of who we are as a people, and will continue to be part of who we will be as a people.

Blessed are You, Ha'Shem our God, Ruler of the universe, who has sanctified us with Your commandments and commanded us concerning circumcision.

Best of Friends!

2008-12-01T22:37:00.000-07:00

Nuckachucka Gets a Brand New Friend!

2008-12-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, November 26, at 10:03 PM we welcomed into our lives a fine healthy boy of 8 lb and 20 inches. He came swiftly in the end, after keeping us on tender hooks for about twenty three hours. Things moved so slowly all day Wednesday , and at 7:00 PM we were thinking that there wouldn't be anything until the next day.

Then we received a call at 8:20 PM to come down to the hospital, that things had progressed. When we arrived (at about 9:00 PM) the surrogate was resting so we went out to the waiting room thinking it would be hours. About 30 minutes later we were called back to the room as she was dilated to 7 cm and was pushing! We were bedside in seconds, and watched with absolute awe as the baby entered the outside world.

With a gentle yet meaningful cry he arrived.

Jacob Osher (which we are translating as "abundant joy") is quite the sweetheart. It is an amazing thing to see a child enter the world. But to see ones son pass through the birth canal, and reveal himself, is life changing.

He has fine light hair, with dark lashes and almost invisible eye brows. He has a pink complexion and is free of any of the baby blemishes I am used to, save a few milia on his chin. He has eyes that are a dark grey blue which can stare deep into my soul.

We are floating on a wave of joy and happiness. There is joy and wonder in everything he does, he has the ability to change the weather and make the sun shine. It is like nothing I have ever felt or experienced before, and I like it. I like it a lot!

We spent two days in the hospital and came home to grandmas house on Friday afternoon. We will be spending the next 5 weeks here as we prepare for our departure to New Zealand, and our new beginning together as a family of three. We have the perfect set-up here and have been having family and friends over to meet him, which has been lovely.

We are in a nice little groove of sharing feedings and so actually feel very rested and content. I think that not having carried him for nine months, or having gone through 23 hours of induced labour we are going to be in much better shape. So far, so good.

Today he is five days old. Five days! Absolutely remarkable. Time has raced by in a flurry of individually-sealed memory moments.

We left the house for the first time today to go to our first pediatrician appointment. All is well and within the expected norms, which of course settles my prone-to-fret Nursing mind. I was able to ask my paranoid questions and have them set aside by a wonderful team of folks. I actually initially chose the practice because I had known the doctors when they were residents at C.H.L.A. I am now delighted to know that a third doctor has joined, another physician that I was so impressed by when she was in her residency, also.

If I had to put the last few days into a word, I think the word would be "fulfilled", "content" is also up there.

Dean quoted something from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" on Friday which I think sums it all up; with a glint in his eye Willie Wonka says to Charlie, "Do you know what happened to the man who got everything he ever wanted? He lived happily ever after".

I now know exactly what he meant.

Shuttle over New Zealand

2008-11-26T11:42:00.001-07:00

Unless I am much mistaken this is a view of the space shuttle over New Zealand. The top half of the South Island is clearly visible, and the bottom of the North. Looks like it was a lovely sunny day on the Canterbury Plains, a little hazy over Akaroa, tho.

Steady...Steady....

2008-11-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

Latest update on the baby; We saw our OB on Saturday morning. The cervix is "soft", but not yet dilating. We will continue with our previous plan and are looking at being admitted on Tuesday evening to start the process with a vaginally inserted agent and commencement of an IV infusion of Pitocin. All going to schedule delivery should happen in the mid-morning on Wednesday.

The Boy will arrive home at 10:30 AM on Monday, and so will be here in plenty of time for the fun and games. I am so incredibly glad that he is able to be here, and that his job were gracious enough to give an extra week the okay. It will really make all the difference to us.

While I am a little concerned at the connection of Pitocin and Autism it seems as if it is yet to be proved as a causative relationship. One article I read said that 60% of autism cases had been induced with Pitocin. Is this a real relationship? I don't know. I am inclined to think there there are many more factors which are likely - in combination - to contribute to Autism. Our goal is to minimize exposure, but there isn't a lot one can demand in this situation. Hopefully the vaginal agent - as well as the natural methods that the surrogate is using - will be enough to stimulate things, thereby limiting the dosage of "Pit" that has to be used.

I really like our OB. She is so excited for us all it really feels right and good. I feel safe and confident with her, and this makes all the difference.

Updates will follow as they come to hand...

Thank You, Reb Shmuely

2008-11-23T12:41:00.000-07:00

Gays Become Religion's False Bogeymen

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach - Monday, 17 November, 2008

Opponents of President Bush chart the erosion of his presidency to the war in Iraq, the failure to initially address the Katrina devastation, and the breakdown of the American banking system. All of this may be so, but it is equally likely that the outgoing President did much good for which he is given little credit. Be that as it may, I identify President Bush’s going off message to another event entirely. In the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, the President’s famous reaction was to encourage the country to go on a shopping spree. "Get down to Disney World in Florida," he urged just over two weeks after 9/11. "Take your families and enjoy life, the way we want it to be enjoyed.”

There are times when a great nation awakens from a materialistic slumber and experiences an urge for spirituality and togetherness. And those are the wrong times to turn their hearts back to shopping malls and the impulse purchase.

Few of us living in the United States can believe the extent of the financial meltdown in our country. I have consistently maintained that it is devastation born of a spiritual crisis.

For too long we Americans have tried to plug the gaping holes at our center with fancier clothing, bigger homes, and the latest gadgets. We have thought that shopping was an acceptable alternative for a true spiritual calling. This failure to awaken the nation to a higher spiritual purpose is in turn a failure of religion itself.

All across our nation religion is being ridiculed and is on the retreat. The 80 million born-again Christians who had such a pronounced role in Bush’s two victories were impotent in the last election.

Bill Maher and a host of other atheists make a financial killing by portraying religious people as knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who swallow faith uncritically and send their money to charlatan televangelists who fly around in their gas-guzzling G5’s.

Indeed, great defenders of the faith would be forgiven if they were to conclude that in America religion is losing its focus as well as its rational dimension.

Take the American religious obsession with homosexuals. Last week, This World: The Jewish Values Network, which I founded, hosted a debate between a leading evangelical scholar and myself on whether Judaism and Christianity are religions of peace.

My opponent, a man of great learning and even greater decency, made it clear that in stating ‘Love your enemies,’ Jesus included Osama bin Laden. Yet, when it came to gay men who want to get married, he seemed to concur that were this to happen the whole of American society would begin to unweave. Indeed, I have heard some of my evangelical brethren make it sound as if gays were a greater danger to America than terrorists.

I will not in this column get into the arguments for and against gay marriage. What I will say is that religion in America has made homosexuality into a false bogeyman, which has seriously distracted religion from giving real values to an increasingly valueless society. Is this really what religious values in America has come to, opposition to gay marriage?

What do you think would do more to save heterosexual marriage in America? Making sure gays can’t get hitched, or changing the tax code so that marital counseling among heterosexual couples becomes tax-deductible so that couples can actually afford the help they need?

What should religion be devoting its energy to? Opposing gay marriage in California, or supporting an effective national campaign for school vouchers so that parents can afford to send their children to schools that teach religious values like male respect for women and the sanctity of a loving relationship? I have devoted my entire life to saving marriage.

I have counseled thousands of couples in crisis. I have authored twenty books on spirituality and relationships. Never once have I believed that by opposing homosexuality I was bringing a husband and wife closer together.

Rather, by seeking to increase the desire between husband and wife and by fostering true emotional intimacy between them, I was working to ensure that fewer American children would end up like me, the product of a broken home. Homosexuality is nothing but a distraction.

America has serious social problems. Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Forty million married Americans are in platonic marriages. One out of three American women are on an anti-depressant. Innumerable men are deeply into pornography. Our teenagers have unacceptably high rates of sexuality and pregnancy.

And yet, I cannot name a single religious initiative that appeared on a single ballot to combat any of these problems, save for Proposition 8 in California that sought to ban gay marriage. Let’s be honest. Gays don’t have to kill off heterosexual marriage. We straight people have done a fine job already.

What religion suffers from, not just in our time but for all time, is its dualistic impulse. Simply stated, religion seems to need enemies. Many religious people thrive on an us and them mentality. The G-dly and the G-dless. The righteous and the sinful. The forces of light battling the forces of darkness.

But Judaism’s vision of a religious future is monist, one in which all people’s will come together to create a just and compassionate society. The prophet Isaiah said that in the future, ‘I shall bring them to my holy mountain, and I shall make them joyous in my Home… for My Temple shall be called a House of Prayer for all peoples.’

The future of religion in America and abroad is one in which religion finds the good in others even as it maintains its standards and morals. Pastors may oppose gay marriage. But given the limited resources available to religion and the social rot that is all around us, can we not dedicate those resources to ends that unite and inspire instead of divide and alienate?

My plan to save the American family does not involve fighting any group, but rather bequeathing the Jewish Sabbath as a gift to all the American people.

I propose that we ‘Turn Friday Night into Family Night’ throughout the nation, with millions of families committing to having dinner with their children with the TV and cell phone off, with guests invited so that hospitality is practiced, with children being heard by their parents with the noise of the world filtered out, and with husbands and wives focusing on each other rather than the myriad actors that invade their home through television.

An ancient Jewish legend says that when the whole world keeps just one Sabbath the Messiah will come. For our time perhaps this means that when religion chooses to give the world something that unites rather than divides, redemption will finally come.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is the founder of This World: The Jewish Values Network. His new book ‘The Kosher Sutra: Eight Sacred Secrets of Desire’ will be published in January.

Amelia Terese Cameron

2008-11-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

Born to Lee-Ann and Aaron

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008

10:15 AM

Invercargil, New Zealand

6 lb 9 oz - 2976 gm

On Your Marks...Get Set...

2008-11-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

Well, it is looking like we will step off the curb onto Parent Street some time in the next 7 days! Today we are 38 weeks gestation. The head is down, and contractions have officially begun, although dilation is somewhat slower. The plan is to see our OB again on Saturday and if dilation has started we will admit and induce. If not, we will let nature take it's course until Wednesday when the plan is to admit and induce regardless.

In response to this news I have done the following;

1. Had the car detailed (it was such a crazy mess).

2. Packed a bag of clothes for baby and me, which now lives in the trunk of the clean-and-oh-so-shiny car.

3. Installed the baby car seat (those things are a bitch to do, by the way).

4. Cleared the way for me to pass off my "on call" shift for next Wednesday evening.

...and finally...

5. Found that getting a full night's sleep is a lot harder than I had thought.

Boy oh boy!

Dean has been able to change plans and will now fly in on Monday morning. Hopefully the little passenger will do the right thing and hang in there until he gets here, I'd hate for him to miss out.

Updates as they come to hand.

Got Hope? Harvey Milk.

2008-11-19T22:49:00.001-07:00

Inspirational in these troubling days.

Love Unites

2008-11-15T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today I took part in the Los Angeles protect against Proposition 8. All in all it was a well attended and well behaved group.

Fires rage in northern L.A. Hundreds of homes have been destroyed, and thousands are in evacuation centers. The air is stained with smoke and I think I will likely have to use my inhaler tonight. The sun as it set was a huge blood-red ball in the sky. I felt bad that I found it beautiful.

Pray for rain, lots of rain.

A Little Disappointed...

2008-11-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

I won't dwell on it, but I am a little disappointed that Labour did not win the election. I am inclined "to lean left" politically, and so to see the entry of a National lead government is not too thrilling. I still have a bad taste in my mouth from Rob Muldoon, for heavens sake and that was donkeys years ago (1984).

I like Helen Clark, I like her a lot. I think she did a phenomenal job of leading New Zealand for three terms (Dec. 1999 thru Sunday) and did a lot to bolster our standing in the world, and our standing with one another. I'm not so sure that John Key is going to be good for us in the long term. Again, I know relatively little about him, but I am not impressed with what I have seen. It's silly, but his smile annoys me.

I was also saddened to hear that Helen has stepped down as leader and has been replaced by Phil Goff. I don't know much about him, but he reads well on wikipedia. I am thinking that this is the end of an era.

I may look closer at the Green Party from here on...

Keith Olbermann Speaks Out On Prop 8

2008-11-10T23:08:00.001-07:00

2008-11-08T00:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Election Day, New Zealand

2008-11-07T21:22:00.001-07:00

I hope that we Kiwi can channel some of the empowerment that Americans feel.

Vote My Brothers, and Sisters, Vote!

Still Trying to Make Sense of it All...

2008-11-07T20:08:00.000-07:00

As the days have passed since the election results I have been going through an up-and-down of emotions. It is incredible to watch President-Elect Obama on CNN taking questions with eloquence, calm and good humour.

Yet, I find myself disillusioned over the passing, and official verification of California's Proposition 8. I have attended rallies, screamed my distress, and hugged crying friends. Most of all, it hurts my sense of Justice. I thought Californians were better than this.

Today I received an e-mail which soothed my soul somewhat, and gave me a Jewish perspective from which to plot my recovery in the days ahead. This e-mail was sent out by the good people over at the Pacific Southwest Regional Council of the Union for Reform Judaism, Rabbis Alan Henkin and Linda Bertenthal. It was just what I was needing, and I hope it helps you, too.

Two Prayers for Strength After the Passage of Proposition 8 for Shabbat Lech Lecha:
Take Courage
(Based on Haftarah Lech-Lecha - Isaiah 40:27-41:16)

Why do you say, O Jacob,
Why declare, O Israel,
"My way is hid from the Eternal,
My cause is ignored by my God?"

Help us remember that our cause is Yours -
the cause of justice and equality for all.
Our way is to embrace all of Your creation,
To honor and include all Your children.

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Eternal is God from of old,
Creator of the earth from end to end,
God never grows faint or weary,
God's wisdom cannot be fathomed.

Let us honor God's creation from end to end,
And resist those who disparage God's children.
Do you not know that we are all created in God's image?
Male and female, gay and straight
God's wisdom cannot be challenged - God does not create in vain.

God gives strength to the weary, fresh vigor to the spent;
Youths may grow faint and weary, and young men stumble and fall,
But they that trust in the Eternal shall renew their strength
As eagles grow new plumes:
They shall run and not grow weary; they shall march and not grow faint.

We have already begun to march; we will march on and never grow faint.
We have run one race and nearly won; we will run again and never grow weary.
We will march and run together and we shall never fall -
Never fall victim to despair, never fall into the trap of returning hate with hate.
God give us strength!

Each one helps the other,
Saying to his fellow, "Take courage!"
The woodworker encourages the smith;
He who flattens with the hammer
Encourages him who pounds the anvil.

Let us each help one another,
Saying to our fellow seeker of justice, "Take courage!"
The straight woman encourages the lesbian - "I am with you"
The gay man encourages the straight - "We have seen this hate before
And we are not afraid."

"I chose you; I have not rejected you -
Fear not, for I am with you.
Be not frightened, for I am your God;
I strengthen you and I help you,
I uphold you with My victorious right hand."

God of justice, strengthen us
as justice, justice we pursue.
Let us not be frightened nor despair,
Cause us to strengthen one another
Until justice is ours and victory is Yours.

Lech Lecha
Based on Genesis 12:1

Lech lecha – let us go forth
Go forth to pursue justice
Justice delayed is justice denied
Help us go forth today!

Lech lecha - go into yourself
Find the place of strength within
Hopes crushed, let us not despair
Equality shattered, let us not quail
Help us find within the dedication,
the determination, the fortitude
to go forth to pursue justice.

Lech lecha – go for yourself
for your own equality,
for your own integrity,
for your own spark of divinity,
for your own longing for justice.
Inspire us, Eternal,
To see our own blessing
from being a blessing
by going forth.

Lecha lecha – go forth
And we will go forth together
Be strong and we will be strengthened
Pursue justice and let us pursue it,
Until justice rolls down like water
And righteousness like a mighty stream.

Eternal, our God, empower us to go forth!

Shabbat Shalom Everyone.

President-Elect Barack Obama in Chicago

2008-11-05T09:27:00.001-07:00

Bitter Sweet

2008-11-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and on into last night I saw the unimaginable happen. America has redefined itself, and taken a huge step towards reclaiming it's self respect and dignity. It has refused to squander it's potential on the fear and disillusionment of the previous eight years. It has said it can, and will, do better. The mere fact that it has made a hopeful choice is, in my opinion, one that takes great courage.

Obama has inspired people to exercise their vote in massive numbers, and in a decisive and awe inspiring way. I congratulate the American people for making a brave and hopeful move.

But it isn't all roses. Here in California the Proposition that will lead to an Amendment of the Californian Constitution to remove marriage rights from Gay and Lesbian Californians has passed, albeit by a relatively small margin (the L.A.Times reports 52% "Yes" to "48%" no, with 95% or precincts reporting their results).

I woke this morning with a great heaviness, and I still struggle to understand how this has happened. I understand all too well the traditional definition of marriage stands on a Bible-based definition, but I had thought that people could see that there are times when we have to put our history to the side. After all, the Bible also sanctions slavery, the subjugation of women, and the punishment - by death - of wayward children.

The Christian (okay, and some Jews) Right have hijacked the separation of Church and State, and done so by using fear and mistrust to their advantage.

I'm not sure what to think about them. How is this the actions of people of faith?

Yesterday I was more than a little sad that my not having U.S. citizenship had meant I was unable to participate in the election, and be part of bringing in a new era of American politics. Today, I am not so sure.

D.I.Y. - Its in our DNA

2008-11-03T21:03:00.001-07:00

Too funny...

Rock The Vote

2008-11-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

Election season is - at least this year - an incredibly powerfully emotional time for me. Participation in the process can be frustrating, and frightening. Here in the United States there is a lot hanging on the result of tomorrow's election. Will Hope be realized or squandered?

New Zealand is also in the throws of electioneering. The official election day is Saturday, but being that I live overseas, and that Saturday is Shabbat I went to cast my vote this morning.

The New Zealand Consul General is located in an office park in Santa Monica. I was actually quite surprised to find that the lobby at the Consul General was empty. Once I caught the attention of the little lady behind the desk I was greeted by an official who went off to locate the correct forms, etc.

It took all of 5 minutes, and was decidedly anti-climactic really, but it felt really good to cast my votes. "Votes"?

New Zealand went to a Proportional Representation system a few years back, so there are two votes to be cast; one for preferred Party List, and one for local Member of Parliament. I vote for the Mana electorate, which is outside Wellington (which is where I last lived when I resided in New Zealand).

I like the M.P., a lady called Winnie Laban. I like her a lot; she is warm, dignified, and seems to have her head on right. While I was home in New Zealand in early October I saw her on a morning T.V. show talking about her recent successful battle with breast cancer, and urging Pacific Island and Maori women to have mammograms.

I went Labour, which I guess to those who know me is no great shock. They are definitely more the working class party. I like a lot of what the Green Party have to say, but Labour has the numbers and experience to carry the majority. "National" is just another way of saying "Tory" or "Republican" in my book - both of which are dirty words.

I like Helen Clark's "no nonsense", "straight to the point", "buggar that", manner. I just hope that she carries the day. It looks like a tight race mind you, and one that Labour is - I suspect - to loose. The population seem to be dissatisfied and that usually means that they will punish the incumbent.

We'll see...

Now Here's Nifty Gadget

2008-10-31T08:48:00.000-07:00

I found this on DadLabs.com, and while I've never really been particularly gadget focused I think this will be a life saver. Being that I am a "professional" child care worker I have a particular attraction (okay, obsession) with being organised (cue heavenly choir).

The Itzbeen is essentially a timer which can keep track of multiple events. Nappy changes, feedings, sleep, etc. I think it will be quite the handy dandy electronic notebook, and help us keep the "My Two Dads" show running like a well oiled machine.

Kein Y'hi Ratzon...

2008-10-29T20:33:00.001-07:00

I have never really regretted NOT having U.S. citizenship until now. This man has what it takes to lead the United states back to their true selves. I only pray that this will come to pass.

We're Having a Baby - or - The Spending Continues...

2008-10-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

Now don't go freaking out on me, but this was my purchase today. We are under six weeks out, this we actually need. We have to have one of these or they won't let us take Baby Bear home. I didn't have a whole lot of choice with regards colour, but this was better than the flowery one, believe me. I'd kinda liked the green, but they didn't have it in stock and weren't sure how long it would take, yada yada yada. So, this is what we got.

I kinda like it - bright, easy to spot in a crowd (or on a luggage carousel at the airport?). I got a discount, too - some promotion or other. I had the nice lady at "The Right Start" show me how it attached to the stroller we have, which helped my fears that it wouldn't (I know, I know, I fret about the wackiest stuff). I'd gone over to Babies-R-Us first but they only had it on their website, and I kinda needed the demo, so while it was a schlep from one side of the city to the other (kinda) it wasn't a bad day at all.

Just a word to all the baby retailers out there, as a soon to be Dad, you could all learn a thing from The Right Start. They are smart and informed (unlike the girl at "Babies-R-Us"), and you don't feel like a complete idiot being in there because you are a guy.

I kinda did the hit-and-run approach. They always wanna sell you something else. Okay, so I got the cup holder for our stroller, but I escaped without being talked into the night sky-scape night light. It is kinda cool, mind you. Maybe...

I rewarded myself for my shopping success with a movie (I was at the mall, after all) and saw Bill Maher's "Religulous". Bill doesn't have much time for religion, any religion, so this was a laugh a minute at the expense of us religious folk (mostly the Christians, Mormons, Scientologists, and the Muslims, but a bit at the Ultra-Orthodox Jews - but hey, they are funny). I loved it; he is a hoot, and there is so much truth in what he says. I didn't walk away any less committed, but it was reassuring to know that my faith isn't as entrenched as "those freaks".

Oh The Humanity

2008-10-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

It is hard to escape the cold hard realities of the season, the election seems to be absolutely everywhere you turn. Here in California it is a particularly bitter battle with regards Prop 8, which would remove the rights of same sex couples to marry by amending the California Constitution. It is essentially an issue of separation of Church and State in my opinion. One would think that Americans would understand this issue better than anyone else because they fought a revolution - in part - to guarantee that separation, but it doesn't seem to be something that the religious right can wrap their heads around. It's nasty.

There is the plea that same sex marriage will poison children and dissolve the family. One ad talks about how same sex marriage will have to be taught to kids in schools as a valid option. Lots of fear mongering and mis-truths. Marriage isn't even part of the education curriculum in the State of California.

Millions of dollars are being poured into the campaign on both sides; just imagine what could be done with that money for the hungry and homeless. It is pitiful. Kids go without food as adults haggle over power and control.

It is the first time I have actually wished I was a U.S. citizen. It is difficult being on the sidelines this time.

Finally, An Update Post-Auckland...

2008-10-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

It has been a week or so since I came back to the U.S. and so I think I can put some thoughts down, now that I have had time to digest. The reality of being back - with all that goes with my life here - is now well and truly in play.

It was wonderful to be us again. Easier than I thought it might be, and with a gentle calm (at least for me) that was a pleasant discovery. He was incredibly busy, but there was still some down time to relax together and re-connect.

It was a phenomenal High Holy Days with the community in Auckland. I have never felt so welcomed with open and friendly arms. The people are genuine, thoughtful, and kind. They have what I think a lot of communities wish they had; enthusiasm. They are enthusiastic for each other and they have a shared enthusiasm for the community. They are - from what I saw and heard - a group that enjoys each other and watches out for one another. There is a wonderful spirit of fellowship which I was so happy to find.

So many said lovely things to me about the baby, and about the Boy, who they now love as their own. I see he is having a great impact on so many of them, and seeking new ways for them to build an even more committed and connected community. He has started out by setting a great goal for the kids in the Hebrew school, a new way for them to live their values in the real world setting; A patch of sunny ground to the east of the temple building has now been transformed into a large garden plot. The kids will grow vegetables, which when ripe will be sent to the Auckland City Mission to feed the hungry in our city. It will show the kids ways to solve problems in a concrete way, which exemplifies the prophetic call to feed the hungry.

I took take part in a working bee on the Sunday before Sukkot, the day before I returned to the U.S. A huge pile of top soil was delivered to the lawn of the Temple, and a number of members and older Hebrew school kids moved the soil with shovels and wheelbarrows back into the newly built raised beds. It was a lot of fun, and hard work, too. It was a great way to be seen as the type of rabbinical spouse I want to be; one who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty and not shy of "chipping in". It was just wonderful, to see, to do, to be a part of it.

I saw Mum and Dad and some of my sibs for a few days in New Plymouth. It was great, and we really had a good time, together. I got to play with the nephews and nieces, which was a ton of fun. My sister-in-law Steph is counting the days until her eldest goes off to primary school. He is impatient to be five, too.

I got to look around at Auckland, and to put some time in setting up the house; building dressers, dining room chairs, and sorting out the bookshelves too. I also got to do some set-up in the little yellow room at the top of the stairs which will be the baby's room. The stroller and dressing table are assembled, and the toy box awaits a coat of varnish and the arrival of the cot (which we will soon have). It was just lovely to find myself in the house I have been imagining my self in these past months. Even lovelier to find us there comfortable and happy.

Now of course, the hard part; the waiting. The distance too, and distraction of our lives here and there which has an effect cannot be helped, I guess. It is easy for me to feel despondent, even when we are so close to being on our way to our new life. I know it is so close...but still, it is so far. I'm trying to keep myself busy. There is actually a lot to be done.

I have a list of things I need to buy and borrow, and have been hunting for the best buys I can find, which is fun. Bottles, diapers, wipes, some clothing, and assorted supplies. It feels very real that soon there will be a baby in my/our life, and it feels really good to prepare for it.

We had an appointment with the OB today. It was great to see the surrogate and the baby (on ultrasound). All is going well. There had been some concern about occasional contractions, but the cervix is still nice and thick on ultrasound (5 cm). Still, it is highly likely that we will go into labour earlier than planned, just by the fact that this is pregnancy number 5. The baby is also a good size, estimated at 7 lbs, or so. While I would hate to have to be here alone, but it might mean we'd be able to leave sooner?

For now; breathe...breathe, wait, and see...

No on 8 PSA: CONSTITUTION

2008-10-14T21:50:00.001-07:00

No on 8 PSA: FAMILY (Molly Ringwald)

2008-10-14T21:46:00.001-07:00

Another one...

Too Damned Funny...

2008-10-14T21:45:00.001-07:00

No vs. Yes on Proposition 8

2008-10-14T06:32:00.001-07:00

back again...

2008-10-13T19:21:00.000-07:00

Just fresh off the 747 from New Zealand after two weeks of catching up with the Boy, my folks , and the community, as well as seeing where we'll all be living come January. I am a touch tired, and am desperate to stay up until 20:30 (here's hoping).

The house is de-lightful.

The flight was so-so, I didn't sleep so well and the food was not what I had thought it would be (I got a special meal and sadly it was kak!). I watched a couple of movies ("Sex and The City" - Yay, and "Baby Mamma" - Yech!). I will write more when I can process better and my hand-eye coordination isn't quite so alarming.

Needless to say, I am "Counting the Days"...

The Sukkot Shake

2008-10-13T16:14:00.001-07:00

Chag Sameach! Mo'adim L'Simcha!

Israelis For Obama

2008-09-25T10:05:00.001-07:00

Eyze ma'shu

okay, okay...I think he's cute...

2008-09-16T19:58:00.001-07:00

This is Chuckanucka.

I was "out and about" the other day in Silverlake; sipping coffee, looking aloof, jotting in my journal - as ya do - and I happened upon this little gem. I think he's delightful! I had to buy him, I just had to. Thankfully he was a cheap little purchase. I don't know why, I just know that he called to me and told me that he'd be the perfect friend for the a fore mentioned Baby Bear.

He looks like he'll be good at keeping a secret, and be a loyal friend. Can never have too many confidantes, right?

He is washable, thankfully (as I am sure he'll get a bath in the toilet at some point - don't we all?). I haven't shared that little pearl with him just yet. I didn't want to scare him.

Say Hello, to Baby Bear.

2008-09-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

Here is our latest scan. Much clearer than the last one, for sure. We have approximately twelve weeks to go before the happy arrival. Lots to do, lots to be done.

But ain't he/she sweet?

From The L.A. Times - Let's Hope She's Right...

2008-09-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

Palin: wrong woman, wrong message

Sarah Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Hillary Clinton. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger.

By Gloria SteinemSeptember 4, 2008

Here's the good news: Women have become so politically powerful that even the anti-feminist right wing -- the folks with a headlock on the Republican Party -- are trying to appease the gender gap with a first-ever female vice president. We owe this to women -- and to many men too -- who have picketed, gone on hunger strikes or confronted violence at the polls so women can vote. We owe it to Shirley Chisholm, who first took the "white-male-only" sign off the White House, and to Hillary Rodham Clinton, who hung in there through ridicule and misogyny to win 18 million votes.

But here is even better news: It won't work. This isn't the first time a boss has picked an unqualified woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most other women want and need. Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It's about making life more fair for women everywhere. It's not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It's about baking a new pie.

Selecting Sarah Palin, who was touted all summer by Rush Limbaugh, is no way to attract most women, including die-hard Clinton supporters. Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton. Her down-home, divisive and deceptive speech did nothing to cosmeticize a Republican convention that has more than twice as many male delegates as female, a presidential candidate who is owned and operated by the right wing and a platform that opposes pretty much everything Clinton's candidacy stood for -- and that Barack Obama's still does. To vote in protest for McCain/Palin would be like saying, "Somebody stole my shoes, so I'll amputate my legs."

This is not to beat up on Palin. I defend her right to be wrong, even on issues that matter most to me. I regret that people say she can't do the job because she has children in need of care, especially if they wouldn't say the same about a father. I get no pleasure from imagining her in the spotlight on national and foreign policy issues about which she has zero background, with one month to learn to compete with Sen. Joe Biden's 37 years' experience.

Palin has been honest about what she doesn't know. When asked last month about the vice presidency, she said, "I still can't answer that question until someone answers for me: What is it exactly that the VP does every day?" When asked about Iraq, she said, "I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq."

She was elected governor largely because the incumbent was unpopular, and she's won over Alaskans mostly by using unprecedented oil wealth to give a $1,200 rebate to every resident. Now she is being praised by McCain's campaign as a tax cutter, despite the fact that Alaska has no state income or sales tax. Perhaps McCain has opposed affirmative action for so long that he doesn't know it's about inviting more people to meet standards, not lowering them. Or perhaps McCain is following the Bush administration habit, as in the Justice Department, of putting a job candidate's views on "God, guns and gays" ahead of competence. The difference is that McCain is filling a job one 72-year-old heartbeat away from the presidency.

So let's be clear: The culprit is John McCain. He may have chosen Palin out of change-envy, or a belief that women can't tell the difference between form and content, but the main motive was to please right-wing ideologues; the same ones who nixed anyone who is now or ever has been a supporter of reproductive freedom. If that were not the case, McCain could have chosen a woman who knows what a vice president does and who has thought about Iraq; someone like Texas Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison or Sen. Olympia Snowe of Maine. McCain could have taken a baby step away from right-wing patriarchs who determine his actions, right down to opposing the Violence Against Women Act.

Palin's value to those patriarchs is clear: She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality. She believes that creationism should be taught in public schools but disbelieves global warming; she opposes gun control but supports government control of women's wombs; she opposes stem cell research but approves "abstinence-only" programs, which increase unwanted births, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions; she tried to use taxpayers' millions for a state program to shoot wolves from the air but didn't spend enough money to fix a state school system with the lowest high-school graduation rate in the nation; she runs with a candidate who opposes the Fair Pay Act but supports $500 million in subsidies for a natural gas pipeline across Alaska; she supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, though even McCain has opted for the lesser evil of offshore drilling. She is Phyllis Schlafly, only younger.

I don't doubt her sincerity. As a lifetime member of the National Rifle Assn., she doesn't just support killing animals from helicopters, she does it herself. She doesn't just talk about increasing the use of fossil fuels but puts a coal-burning power plant in her own small town. She doesn't just echo McCain's pledge to criminalize abortion by overturning Roe vs. Wade, she says that if one of her daughters were impregnated by rape or incest, she should bear the child. She not only opposes reproductive freedom as a human right but implies that it dictates abortion, without saying that it also protects the right to have a child.

So far, the major new McCain supporter that Palin has attracted is James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Of course, for Dobson, "women are merely waiting for their husbands to assume leadership," so he may be voting for Palin's husband.

Being a hope-a-holic, however, I can see two long-term bipartisan gains from this contest.

Republicans may learn they can't appeal to right-wing patriarchs and most women at the same time. A loss in November could cause the centrist majority of Republicans to take back their party, which was the first to support the Equal Rights Amendment and should be the last to want to invite government into the wombs of women.

And American women, who suffer more because of having two full-time jobs than from any other single injustice, finally have support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can't be equal outside the home until men are equal in it. Barack Obama and Joe Biden are campaigning on their belief that men should be, can be and want to be at home for their children.

This could be huge.

Gloria Steinem is an author, feminist organizer and co-founder of the Women's Media Center. She supported Hillary Clinton and is now supporting Barack Obama.

Lonely - Ya'el Na'im

2008-09-05T21:09:00.001-07:00

Don't you just hate it when a song on your iPod just so totally sums you up, as you sit on the bus on your way home from work, that you find tears welling up in your eyes?

Ugh.

I am so over being alone.

"Now Don't Think Me Rude, Dear"

2008-08-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

For any member of my extended family, this quote is one much loved. My grandmother "Cova" (pronounced Ku'vah) had this great way of letting you know she was going to say something either critical, that might paint her in a bad way, or that she was pretty sure you'd take offence to. We cousins have used it as our family motto for years now, and it is always the source of lots of laughter.

Since living in the United States I cannot help but be affected by what goes on around me I have become a keen observer of life here. Recently the Olympics have dominated talk (and viewing) in the lunch room. This week the Democratic National Convention takes the place of Team USA. Change we can believe in, regardless of who the nominee is, is a commin'.

There is a palpable enthusiasm that is a delight to witness. I see people on both sides of the arena girding their loins, looking for supporters, and polishing their swords. The parties are filled with dissent and vitriol, which I am never comfortable with.

My personal politics are forged from a Labour Party upbringing. Normal Kirk, David Lange, Helen Clark - these are my political heroes. The system is one that I understand, and it seems perfect for our tiny little country at the bottom of the globe. I read, write and vote in the system I was raised in. As a result I've made a conscious decision in recent years to stay out of the American process as much as possible. It's not my politics, it's not my country. I live here, but I have no real interest other that observing the way the game is played here.

And that's where I get in trouble.

People take such offence that I have no desire to join in. Especially those people manning phone banks who want me to contribute to the cause. Firstly, I think the system of money that the political system is wrapped in here is incredibly corrupt. And secondly; I have other financial concerns to focus on. I also don't think it is the place of foreigners to meddle in the politics of a country that is no their own.

"But you can still contribute" I have been told numerous times. "Thank you, but I choose not to" I firmly reply, with a punctuating smile.

That being said, I am excited at the prospect of real political change in the United States. I hope, like many, that there will be an about face in the way this nation moves throughout the world. I also hope that this nation will reclaim it's sense of self, and become less of a negative influence, less of a bully, less of an egotistical capitalistic "we're the best in the world and have such a chip on our shoulder" kind of place.

That sure is a difficult process. There have been too many successive governments (of both parties) that have built this false self concept into the way this nation is in the world, but change needs to happen, at least in my humble opinion.

Now don't think me rude, dear, but I feel that in general the United States has lost sight of it's mission. It has betrayed the promise of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, and become stuck in a cycle of lauding itself and yet almost-never holding itself up to critical evaluation. It seems to have lost touch with it's roots.

So the next time one of you committed phone bankers calls me please realize that when I tell you "Thank you, but I am not a citizen, and I don't take part in your politics", I mean it with the best of intentions, and I wish you nothing but the best of luck in attaining the change you so rightly deserve.

Garden Wedding

2008-08-16T11:58:00.001-07:00

This started screening this week. When I first saw it (during lunch at work) I wanted to cry.

Jay Brannan - Housewife

2008-08-15T21:05:00.001-07:00

Wait...Who Dat?

2008-08-13T14:40:00.000-07:00

If you look close (not the most cooperative fetus, today) you can see eyes, nose, mouth, and ribs. It was quite an amazing experience seeing all organs, one by one being located, measured, plotted, etc.

There was a tense couple of minutes as the Doctor ensured that there were the necessary four chambers to the heart, but - baruch ha'shem - the baby finally allowed a clear view.

We'll go back in a month and have another scan and hopefully we'll have some clearer photos to share.

The Doctor and Technician were very sweet, especially when it came to time to verify the gender. We have chosen to not know beforehand (much to the confusion of many), so they gave me plenty of warning to look the other way.

I was able to make out the sutures of the skull, the bony structures, the mouth/nose and - with the team pointing them out - the ventricles of the brain, and nice pair of kidneys, loops of bowel, the umbilical cord, all ten fingers, and all ten toes.

It had to be one of the most amazing things I have ever seen, and on more than on occasion I felt quite misty.

We are right on the money for our dates, and currently Baby Bear weighs in at 638 gm, which is 1lb 6oz. Cool!

So, How are you filling your days?

2008-07-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

In honesty, my days are not the problem. It's my evenings. My days are just the same; I still work full time, I still have my routines, chores and projects. My days - for the most part - are full.

I woke at around 6:30 AM today, and promptly turned over, rolling away from the alarm clocks green numeric face, and went back to sleep for another 90 minutes, or so. This Sunday was not unlike most Sundays. I went to the farmers market I frequent.

It is held on a quiet, almost hidden street which is only two or three blocks long. White square collapsible tents stand side by side under the bright sunlight. Access is blocked to cars and people reign supreme on the dark tar seal.

I strolled among the assorted crowd perusing the fruit, vege, olive oil, jewelery, and other "stuff". I bought two half-loaves of bread (regular sourdough & whole wheat sourdough), thick kidney-like heirloom tomatoes, mottled pulotes, sweet white peaches, and some Merlot-red cherries.

Strolling home I soaked up the sunshine and looked with somewhat envious eyes at the flowering gardens en route. I am very much looking forward to planting and tending gardens of our own in Auckland. Flowers, vege, and maybe some fruiting plants, too. It has taken almost numerous years, but I will finally have an opportunity to emulate my father and grandfather before and plant a garden of my own.

The rest of the day was quiet. Laundry, sorting thru drawers of sundry bits and pieces, throwing out yet more items that will no longer serve a purpose. It is good to purge. Really good.

Close to Home Trailer

2008-07-19T17:41:00.001-07:00

This came from NetFlix
It is incredibly powerful.

L'hit-kadem - to be moved forward

2008-07-19T15:07:00.000-07:00

Life of late has been a jumble of huge transitions and stepping stones.

"It's all good" we are constantly saying (well, I find myself saying it). As much, it seems, to reassure the person who asks, as to remind myself. People sense the enormity of what we are doing. Most people are excited; a few are horrified.

The reactions of my co-workers and work-associated friends have been wonderful. There is such delight for us that we are doing this. They are sad we are moving so far, but desperately want to come visit.

Then there are some people who are completely perplexed. It has been interesting receiving the different reactions, and even more interesting analyzing them. It has been an insight to how we are seen by those around us. Few really know how in truth, it will be "all good". It will be the most phenomenal "all good" ever seen.

Making a life together in New Zealand will be a phenomenal experience. Not without difficulties and muddled intrigues. But part of a wider plan that will move us closer to our goals, as we move closer to each other.

We are embarking - wisely or not - in stages. First one, then other (albeit for two weeks), then all of us. A brave and brand new world. A new life together. A distant and different land welcomes and awaits us. Far from what we have previously known together, yet closer to what - I believe - we have been craving to share. Both of us will reinvent and reshape our lives - and our relationship - in very dramatic ways.

Both choosing the changes, and responding to those that are thrust upon us. Re-navigating almost everything we do together. keeping what we want, discarding what we do not. Not unlike the clothing, objects and items we did not have wrapped and packed. Objects that will not be part of our narrative there.

It is truly a dream come true; we will parent together. It is as such a shared Jewish dream, as any other classification. It is also a shared act of faith. We have shared this dream and it's fruition will transform our souls. As an act of faith our becoming parents is a dream that flashed across our minds as we stood under the huppah at our wedding.

Now, almost three years later, we are making the flashed vision a reality, and moving it forward, just as it moves us forward.

yes...yes...I know...

2008-07-07T18:50:00.000-07:00

I really can't explain away the delay in posting.

Maybe I was preoccupied with work, or other pressing matters. It's not like I wasn't thinking to myself that I should "write that down", or "spit that out" - I just didn't get to the point where I was able and enabled to a place of blogging.

However...all "great pauses" finish, eventually. So here I am, ready to actually write instead of posting a poached music video that is supposed to relay my emotions. I am actually devoting this evening to writing, instead of just thinking about writing.

I think it is safe to say it aloud here; We are expecting a child.

There, not that difficult, was it? Really?

Okay, maybe it was difficult to put the news out there to the world at large. The reality is I need to move beyond my horrible fears that I'll somehow jinx the whole thing by telling too many people. I'm not sure why I worry, but somehow I feel if I attract too much attention to my life I'll be hit and hit hard.

I'm sure it is the result of some deep-seated fear that I will loose everything that is important and good in my life if I show off - or skite - to the world. I am almost sure it is the result of Presbyterian theology, but there ya go...

Surrogacy - and all it's technical delights- is now something with which we are intimately versed. Contracts, agreements, relinquishment's and assumptions are now part of our vocabulary.

Soon, research into strollers, cribs, diapers and BPA-free bottles will be concrete instead of just a row of multiple Google tabs (truth be told; we went with the Bugaboo).

The Boy is there now. A week and a half (more-or-less). I'm missing him like crazy.

Warm and sunny weather here in LA - bleak and fugly in Auckland. I am both reveling in the weather I have, and tempering this with feeling a quiet trepidation for the weather I will (soon) acquire. He had sheets of rain and hail. How lucky is he? What I wouldn't do for a bloody-good rain storm, aye?

More and more my mind is focused on the Far-distant Land.

Eliyahu Hanavi - Moshav Band

2008-07-05T15:47:00.001-07:00

Listening to this at the moment

Waiting...

2008-07-05T15:38:00.001-07:00

Norah Jones, Come Away with Me

2008-07-05T15:27:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday, America

2008-07-05T15:09:00.000-07:00

July 4th has come and gone, the United States is another year older.

I took myself hiking, it was quite a lovely day, and I was fine with solitude vs. crowds. I've never been that impressed with fireworks, either. Ah well...

Missing the boy, and feeling kinda bored, on the whole.

keep on breathing, keep on breathing...

2008-06-08T18:07:00.000-07:00

Hate to be a worry-wart, but I guess it's permissible for the time being.

The movers come to pack us for Auckland on Tuesday. It feels way too soon, and like I am completely unprepared for all of this, but that's life, huh? This weekend has been reasonably hectic and to make it all the more so, it is Pride. Ugh.

I'm not usually such an anti-Pride kinda gay, and I usually drag the boy to the festivities. This year - even tho it is quite literally at the end of the street - I can't be bothered. I wish they would all just go home and leave our little street quiet and forgotten so I can chuck stuff out in peace.

I don't feel completely stressed out - but I do feel like I am teetering on the brink, somewhat. "It is only a couple of days.." I tell myself "..and then it will be done and time to move on to the next challenge" (preparing to be apart for three months). Blech.

"I'm too old for this shit" I find myself muttering. I just want to crawl under the comforter and curl into a fetal position for the next week.

Still, on the bright and exciting side, we are telling people about the baby now. It's fun, both to tell, and to watch reactions. Some folks just don't know what to do with it (mostly those who don't know us super-well). Everyone is very interested in the details of the conception, which I guess is to be expected. We aren't however being forthcoming with those details, essentially as they are; a) Nunya, and b) kinda insignificant in the big picture.

I am enjoying explaining how fun it will be to have a baby home in New Zealand. It feels very real and "on the money", and the perfect place/way for us to parent for the first two and a half years. There is so much that will be so much easier raising a small child in New Zealand society, the most important part being able to have the opportunity to share that with my family.

My Mum and Dad are great grandparents - probably better than they were parents - which I am looking forward to tapping into. All in good time, all in good time.

Soon enough, Baby Bear, soon enough.

yael naim new soul clip

2008-06-08T16:45:00.001-07:00

LOVE this song

Surely, this too shall pass

2008-06-01T17:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life throws more curve balls than one anticipates. Things seem to be sailing along well, and the little chinks in the pavement seem to be on the verge of sealing to a smooth finish. Then, from out of what one thought was a clear blue sky comes the curve ball. Plummeting towards you, as you stand helpless (or is it hapless) on the plate, bat in hand. "Think fast" someone screams to you, "Watch out" from another.

You swerve, your body resembling a scene from a Ang Lee martial arts flick. Time seems to slow to a snail's pace, but the ball still hurtles in, it's trajectory placing it on a collision course that will surely hurt like a mutha.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, wait for the umpire to call it, then start all over again.

"Batter Up"

Sarit Hadad

2008-05-07T21:09:00.003-07:00

Yom Huladet Sameach L'Yisra'el

2008-05-07T21:09:00.001-07:00

10 Weeks, Today

2008-05-07T18:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the good folks over at pregnancy.com, which we have been frequenting on a regular basis.

What We've Been Up To

2008-04-29T18:51:00.001-07:00

Battlestar Galactica - Season 4 Official Trailer

2008-04-28T21:21:00.001-07:00

We are diligently making our way thru season 3...

The Torchwood

2008-04-28T21:17:00.001-07:00

Very much enjoying Torchwood...

Boy kisses From Les Chansons d'amour

2008-04-28T21:15:00.001-07:00

Wow...

Oh my...so sorry...

2008-03-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

It has been a while hasn't it?

I really have no idea where-in-the-hell to start, but let me say I/we have not been slacking off so much.

Thesis is done. Signed, sealed, delivered, it's theirs! Boy has been able to catch his breath, take stock, catch up, and just be. For the first time in about four-and-a-half years he is his own master. Sure, there are still projects, groups, and commitments but I'd say there is a very different energy that he is able to embrace. It's good!

Job contract is all but signed. The terms are acceptable, and there is a delightful ease of mind that we will be on our way to the life we have dreamt of in the not-too-distant future. Mid-summer will see a change of scene and the beginning of a wonderful adventure. Yay!

The past month has been one in which we have become more familiar with the inner workings of the female reproductive system than I think we ever thought possible. It is both wonderful and slightly nauseating. Watch this space - we might have a whole other kind of adventure to announce soon...

"Cryptic" I know - but this is the way of the world is it not? Things reveal in their own time, and to rush the course of things faster than they are ready to be revealed is to miss the subtlety of life itself, I feel.

ya gotta see this...

2008-02-11T17:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.jawbonefilms.com/#/seanrandy/

Happy Birthday, to Me!

2008-01-30T12:40:00.000-07:00

As of today, at around 05:00 AM ( I believe), I am 41 years old.

It has actually been a good year. Challenging on many different levels, oh yes, but on the whole, as good a year as I could have hoped for. I feel I grew, and changed. That I was able to move ahead on many important levels, and that I have come through a year of transformation transformed.

I feel I own who I am with much more honesty, and that I like what I own. For the most part, I guess.

So, here I stand before you, a man who made his fortieth year work for him. Ta dah!

I acknowledge the people who helped me get here, they are many and varied. They are honored forever for how they helped me through the darkest days and nights. Most of all, my eternal love and devotion, my heart-wall thanks, are to my beloved man.

This year is to be one of adventure and the scaling of mountains. Rivers await forging, and island sunsets beckon to us to linger near. Boundaries are to be broken down, and strong sweet-smelling gardens await planting. Meals to be cooked with tenderness, and consumed with delight. Lullaby's anticipate singing. Small and tender fingers wrapping and unwrapping around ours.

May I be blessed with wisdom and good counsel.

May I enter this year with intention and spontaneity in healthy balance.

May I be quick to praise, and slow to criticize.

May I find joy and satisfaction in the work of my hands, and be able to know I do my utmost.

May my Love be multiplied and constantly present to me.

As I receive Love so shall I strive to give Love to everyone around me.

May I know - along with the ones I Love - Peace and Calm, Comfort and Rest.

"Under vines and fig trees" as the psalmist tells us.

With continual gratitude for all that I have been given to the One who gives it

(B'ruch Hu - B'ruch Sh'mo).

Hello 2008!

2008-01-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been such a wait between postings...busy, again, I guess.

The calendar pages have changed again, and we are - once again - mis-dating cheques, and marveling that it is "January 21st, already!" How did that happen? Time is a fickle master, I guess.

The past few weeks (since the last post) I have completed my orientation to Pre-Op Processing as well as the Ambulatory Surgical Centre. I can't say I really like of enjoy either, but I think the entire transfer process was all about learning new tricks and mastering old fears. No?

Our New Years Eve was quiet, but sweet. Dinner with beloved friends; a tasty home-cooked meal, complete with my very first ever attempt at baking a Pavlova (now you know what the hell that is up at the top of the page). I can now call myself a real Kiwi!

For those less fortunate souls who were not born in the Land-of-the-Large-White-Pav; a Pavlova is a meringue cake made of egg whites and sugar. Named for the famed Russian ballet dancer of the early 1900's it is light as air, and tastes divine. Like a fluffy white cloud, frosted with whipped cream and sliced fruit. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavlova_(food)

There are pictures of it "fully dressed" but I have yet to procure them from my friends...

January has seen us become more busy with plans for our little family. Jobs have been applied for and offered, and the pitter-patter of tiny feet are being planned and plotted. This will prove a wonderfully expansive year, as we move ahead with our long-held plans.

"Watch this space", I guess...

2007-12-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

2007-12-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

Sea-Side Art, Sydney

2007-12-19T20:37:00.000-07:00

Red Tussock

2007-12-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Canterbury Art Museum, Christchurch

2007-12-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

2007-12-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

Bush Walk...

2007-12-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

Plumiting Downward...

2007-12-19T20:20:00.000-07:00

Boat Trip on Milford Sound.

2007-12-19T20:11:00.000-07:00

I just spent some time showing pictures of my trip home to a lady who lives here in the apartment complex, and remembered that I promised some sharing.

This is one of the most amazing places I went, I have to say. I posted right after I visited there, raving about the place. It is indeed awesome. Mighty and powerful. Wow!

Lazy Sunday Afternoon...

2007-12-09T15:50:00.000-07:00

It's not always easy to relax in this city. It is huge, and constantly on the move most of the time. Sunday mornings, before noon, are a pleasant exception. If you can get out before people are up for coffee, brunch, and/or shopping you are set. There is the ability to move around the city with the minimum of hassle. It's bliss.

The ability to foster and cultivate a routine that includes time to go about a few errands quietly and with some detachment is a gift I realize since my return from New Zealand is one I want for myself. The most wonderful part of being there is that it is so relaxed compared to life here.

Today was a first attempt in a while, which I believe - thus far - has been a success. I woke up at about 10:00 AM, finding myself sprawled across the full expanse of the bed. I lay for a few minutes relishing the spread of my body, and then rose with an anticipatory joy for the day ahead. I showered and elected not to shave. I also elected to forgo underarm deodorant, and to wear my most relaxed pair of jeans and a comfy pair of jandles. Then off I set out for the farmers market, shopping tote tucked under my arm.

The local farmers market takes place in a barriered section of Melrose place, off La Cienega. When I first started coming here some years back it was solely fruit, veggies, and flowers. It has now blossomed to include a very good bakery, a purveyor of olive oil, a great hummus and cheese guy, and then an assortment of moderately out-of-place stalls selling jewelery, up-market clothing and a host of "chotchkies" (read "crap").

I try to do my first loop and survey the stalls - where is the apple lady I like, and the young Asian girl with the round face who always smiles sweetly asking me how I'm doing this week. Scanning for the in-season fruit to take home for work/school lunches, etc. I'll make stops and get the things I know we need, before making a second loop to any treats.

Today I bought an emerald bunch of baby bok-choi, a bag of apples, a bag of red, yellow and green peppers, two plump pink grapefruit, and a bag of small rectangular ciabatta. Two plump knobs of ginger, a bulb of jicama, and a tub of cubed salty feta. They will all make for excellent lunches this week.

After making my rounds of the white-tented stalls I strolled back home making a particular effort to do so with curved relaxed shoulders, and a tall flexible erect spine, as the jandles flip-flopped their clip-clop on the pavement.

Once home I carefully unpacked the produce and with equal care placed them in the fridge, before preparing a pot of spicy warm lentils with an "oaky" sauce base I made with liberal amounts of whatever looked good in the kitchen. Some mango chutney, a dollop of red mole, garlic, coriander pods and leaves, cherry tomatoes, and a slow tentative simmer.

I also stole myself down to the pottery gallery to check out the sale, which featured pieces by both of my teachers - Carol and Carlos. I had some of my own pieces which I had left to be glazed before my trip home some two months ago, which I was able to pick up and bring home. I'm very pleased with them. I'll upload photos when I get myself to the drug store and download the chip. But the glazes are subtle like I hoped, and the finished pieces have kept in line with what i had imagined they would look like when finished. I am looking forward to returning to classes in January and taking on a new grade of clay. Yay!

Fred & Cova

2007-12-04T22:07:00.000-07:00

This was probably taken around 1939-1940 - Fred was in the Army, and served in Egypt & Palestine. It is still tucked into the sleeve of what was his wallet in those days. If you scroll down, you'll see that Cova and my sister Lee bear a striking resemblance.

Back At It

2007-12-04T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am, back at home in the United States. It has been just over a week, and I think I have pretty much settled back into the routine. I'm not sure if that it good of bad it just is. I have returned to work, and once I got past the initial shock at the size and speed of everything it is all just as it was. The sun rises, the sun sets (albeit a lot earlier than when I left).

The last few days of my time in New Zealand were a bit of a whirl. Home to New Plymouth after the wedding to Mum & Dad's place where I took life very slowly. Mum went back to work pretty much right away, but Dad had a few days off. We hung out. Actually I made a point of our having lunch together at some cafe on Devon Street one day, and then going out to Waitara to the cemetery to visit my grandparents, among others, the next day.

Many of the people I remember well as a child are now dead and lie there together under the short cut grass. Not far from My grandparents - Fred & Cova - are their infant daughter (my aunt) Sandra, Cova's mother Ethel, and the infamous Granny Jones (Ethel's mother), among others. I recognized many of the surrounding surnames - and some of the forenames - as being part of my extended whanau. These are the people I am from. These are who I have been birthed from. They existed to bring me forth.

I took pictures of headstones so that I would remember them, and be able to piece many of them to the photos I scanned at my uncle's place in Otaki of these people when they were alive.

On the way back to New Plymouth from the cemetery we passed the first house I remember my grandparents living in. "Richmond Street" looks nothing like it used to. It is empty and hollow with no sign of the love that once dwelt there. Gone are Cova's freesias which she tended along the front of the house with great pride, and gone too are the twisted grape vines in the back yard that Fred tended with equal diligence.

Yet, I saw it all so clearly, with a crispness of memory that brought small full tears to my eyes. It was a sad and tender moment to remember days past, and see the present at the same time. The pungent aroma of those flowers in their tall vases all over the house, and too the sweet, plump explosions of his grapes as we munched to our hearts content.

They were magical and love-filled days that I spent at their house as a boy during the school holidays. For that short time, as the engine idled at the curb, I was transported there again.

The route back to the highway took us by the Marae - our Marae - Owae. It is a beautiful place that I remember well. We stopped and I took a walk around taking more photos (which I'll post soon). As I drank it all in, I felt both Fred and Cova - and all my whakapapa - there with me.

It was a perfect place to pay tribute to where I am from, and who I am from, who I was, and who I have become.

Te Aroha,

He Whakapono,

Te Rangimarie,

Tatou, tatou e

Love, Truth and Peace - now and forever

What a Weekend!

2007-11-19T00:40:00.000-07:00

Had an absolutly brillaint time at my sisters wedding this past weekend. It was both moving and a thrilling time to see Lee & Aaron take the first step in this next phase of their life together...don't they look happy?

More when I get home to the U.S. - it's been a wonderful trip - but it is soon time to get back to life and all that lies ahead for us!