Long Over Due...

Way over due...actually.

I have been wanting to blog about my experience of parenting; Has it changed me? Has it expanded me? Has it taught me new insights into life? Y'know, that kind of thing.

The trouble is that I hate the idea of sounding sappy. I am under no illusions that I somehow will come off suave and cool, hip and adjusted, because I know myself well enough to know that I tend to be more emotionally drawn and therefore am more likely to prattle on about the emotions of it all.

But indulge me, if you please...

It's the hardest thing I have ever done, and yet the easiest (meaning I generally feel at ease as I do it, not that it is easy-peasy). It is exhausting and yet exhilarating (I am continually amazed at what I am able to competently accomplish on such a small amount of contiguous sleep). I have settled into a nice little routine, without being dominated by it (okay, that one is a stretch, but I am working on being more flexible, particularly in relation to leaving the house with him).

I have never felt more religious, yet I feel completely unobservant (okay, that one makes no sense). I feel so completely the Jewish parent, yet we very rarely go to schule. I miss ritual observance, yet I also feel that I am working on implanting and instilling a very real Jewish identity.

I have managed to make the leap back to part-time work. It wasn't nearly as traumatic as I thought it might be, and I am very much enjoying being back in the workforce (that's another entry).

And I enjoy Jacob. He is a spectacular little boy, and is daily delighting me (us) with his bright and shining nature. He really is one of the brightest little boys I have ever met. Smiling and happy, inquisitive and - okay, bear with me - insightful. He has on the whole been pretty easy to care for, mostly because he is so sweet and funny. The one or two times he has been sick things are different, but we all get "off days" don't we?

He loves people, and so far hasn't been victim to any separation anxiety (which I am so thrilled about, I would hate him to be scared of people). Instead, he seems to delight in meeting new people, or seeing ones he knows. He is one of those children who takes everything in and really watches the world.

I enjoy being his Abba, and I enjoy being his co-parent. It is so fun to watch him with his daddy, and to see the developing relationship they will have together. It is going to be something quite amazing, I can tell, already.

So, I'll stop here at risk of dissolving into a blabbering idiot and raving about how smart he is and all that stuff that parents are prone to do (which I must say I am a little bit loathe of).