So, How are you filling your days?

In honesty, my days are not the problem. It's my evenings. My days are just the same; I still work full time, I still have my routines, chores and projects. My days - for the most part - are full.

I woke at around 6:30 AM today, and promptly turned over, rolling away from the alarm clocks green numeric face, and went back to sleep for another 90 minutes, or so. This Sunday was not unlike most Sundays. I went to the farmers market I frequent.

It is held on a quiet, almost hidden street which is only two or three blocks long. White square collapsible tents stand side by side under the bright sunlight. Access is blocked to cars and people reign supreme on the dark tar seal.

I strolled among the assorted crowd perusing the fruit, vege, olive oil, jewelery, and other "stuff". I bought two half-loaves of bread (regular sourdough & whole wheat sourdough), thick kidney-like heirloom tomatoes, mottled pulotes, sweet white peaches, and some Merlot-red cherries.

Strolling home I soaked up the sunshine and looked with somewhat envious eyes at the flowering gardens en route. I am very much looking forward to planting and tending gardens of our own in Auckland. Flowers, vege, and maybe some fruiting plants, too. It has taken almost numerous years, but I will finally have an opportunity to emulate my father and grandfather before and plant a garden of my own.

The rest of the day was quiet. Laundry, sorting thru drawers of sundry bits and pieces, throwing out yet more items that will no longer serve a purpose. It is good to purge. Really good.

Close to Home Trailer

This came from NetFlix
It is incredibly powerful.

L'hit-kadem - to be moved forward

Life of late has been a jumble of huge transitions and stepping stones.

"It's all good" we are constantly saying (well, I find myself saying it). As much, it seems, to reassure the person who asks, as to remind myself. People sense the enormity of what we are doing. Most people are excited; a few are horrified.

The reactions of my co-workers and work-associated friends have been wonderful. There is such delight for us that we are doing this. They are sad we are moving so far, but desperately want to come visit.

Then there are some people who are completely perplexed. It has been interesting receiving the different reactions, and even more interesting analyzing them. It has been an insight to how we are seen by those around us. Few really know how in truth, it will be "all good". It will be the most phenomenal "all good" ever seen.

Making a life together in New Zealand will be a phenomenal experience. Not without difficulties and muddled intrigues. But part of a wider plan that will move us closer to our goals, as we move closer to each other.

We are embarking - wisely or not - in stages. First one, then other (albeit for two weeks), then all of us. A brave and brand new world. A new life together. A distant and different land welcomes and awaits us. Far from what we have previously known together, yet closer to what - I believe - we have been craving to share. Both of us will reinvent and reshape our lives - and our relationship - in very dramatic ways.

Both choosing the changes, and responding to those that are thrust upon us. Re-navigating almost everything we do together. keeping what we want, discarding what we do not. Not unlike the clothing, objects and items we did not have wrapped and packed. Objects that will not be part of our narrative there.

It is truly a dream come true; we will parent together. It is as such a shared Jewish dream, as any other classification. It is also a shared act of faith. We have shared this dream and it's fruition will transform our souls. As an act of faith our becoming parents is a dream that flashed across our minds as we stood under the huppah at our wedding.

Now, almost three years later, we are making the flashed vision a reality, and moving it forward, just as it moves us forward.

yes...yes...I know...

I really can't explain away the delay in posting.

Maybe I was preoccupied with work, or other pressing matters. It's not like I wasn't thinking to myself that I should "write that down", or "spit that out" - I just didn't get to the point where I was able and enabled to a place of blogging.

However...all "great pauses" finish, eventually. So here I am, ready to actually write instead of posting a poached music video that is supposed to relay my emotions. I am actually devoting this evening to writing, instead of just thinking about writing.

I think it is safe to say it aloud here; We are expecting a child.

There, not that difficult, was it? Really?

Okay, maybe it was difficult to put the news out there to the world at large. The reality is I need to move beyond my horrible fears that I'll somehow jinx the whole thing by telling too many people. I'm not sure why I worry, but somehow I feel if I attract too much attention to my life I'll be hit and hit hard.

I'm sure it is the result of some deep-seated fear that I will loose everything that is important and good in my life if I show off - or skite - to the world. I am almost sure it is the result of Presbyterian theology, but there ya go...

Surrogacy - and all it's technical delights- is now something with which we are intimately versed. Contracts, agreements, relinquishment's and assumptions are now part of our vocabulary.

Soon, research into strollers, cribs, diapers and BPA-free bottles will be concrete instead of just a row of multiple Google tabs (truth be told; we went with the Bugaboo).

The Boy is there now. A week and a half (more-or-less). I'm missing him like crazy.

Warm and sunny weather here in LA - bleak and fugly in Auckland. I am both reveling in the weather I have, and tempering this with feeling a quiet trepidation for the weather I will (soon) acquire. He had sheets of rain and hail. How lucky is he? What I wouldn't do for a bloody-good rain storm, aye?

More and more my mind is focused on the Far-distant Land.

Eliyahu Hanavi - Moshav Band

Listening to this at the moment

Waiting...

Norah Jones, Come Away with Me

Happy Birthday, America

July 4th has come and gone, the United States is another year older.

I took myself hiking, it was quite a lovely day, and I was fine with solitude vs. crowds. I've never been that impressed with fireworks, either. Ah well...

Missing the boy, and feeling kinda bored, on the whole.